Posted by: Donna Cunningham | January 27, 2010

Feeling Drained by a Relationship? Cut those Psychic Cords!

©July, 2008 by guest blogger Sonya Green of www.reinventingmyself.com

Throughout the ages, psychics and mystics have referred to psychic cords. You might imagine them as golden cords which connect people via the charka centres; kind of like a direct phone line connected to receiving stations within the physical body. Thoughts, feelings and images are sent and received via these cords. In a healthy relationship this can be seen as a system which bonds and supports. In an unhealthy relationship this bond can become a form of bondage – a controlling addiction.

psychic cords Skywriter

If two lovers have established strong psychic cords then they will remain tuned into each other for some time (sometimes years) after they break up. One person may have had closure and moved on, but the other is left broken-hearted, abandoned and confused. The injured person may obsess or pine over the lost lover and it is that emotional energy that pulls on the other’s energy.

Here’s an example–let’s call them Bill and Jane. Bill fell out of love with Jane a few months before he broke up with her. In that time he prepared for the end and resolved his feelings – he had closure. He was anxious to get free from Jane and was feeling smothered by her and guilty about her. To him, the break up was like a breath of fresh air and he was excited about meeting other women and doing other things.

 Jane couldn’t believe it–she had so many expectations and needs; Bill had become her whole life. Jane couldn’t and wouldn’t let go; she dreamt about him, cried over him and obsessed about him tpsychic cords, Skywritero such a degree that almost all of her thoughts and  feelings were about him.

Bill began to feel very tired and became touchy for no explainable reason.  He found himself thinking about Jane quite a lot. He felt guilty even though he had no reason to feel this way.

She showed up in his thoughts and dreams and she would cling to him and beg him to come back. He felt angry and irritable a lot of the time, he had headaches and trouble getting to sleep at night. He couldn’t define it, but he somehow thought Jane had something to do with this. Sometimes he would think about her and feel repulsed. He had wanted to remain friends with Jane, but found that he felt retracted and tense when he tried to call her.

Jane was having a much worse time of it. She wondered if she would have a nervous breakdown. She could not stop thinking about Bill, she sensed him near her, imagined his voice, everything reminded her of him. She silently begged him to love her again. She hated him and wanted to hurt him, she imagined him becoming ill so he would need her.

Because Jane’s thoughts were so strongly charged by emotion, Bill was tuning into them, and feeling them within his own body. Because it didn’t make logical sense to him he dismissed his thoughts about Jane and just assumed that the thoughts and feelings were his own. Because Jane was trying to pull Bill back to her, she was actually draining him of energy.

Due to the intensity of her emotions, she was also bleeding out her own energy.  She became exhausted, depressed, unable to concentrate, accident prone, couldn’t eat and became very weak. The worse she felt, the more she needed Bill. Bill became her medicine; her lifeline, he was her obsession and addiction. Ironically, she believed that this desperation was profound love. 

People do this unconsciously and it is a lot more than just thinking about someone or missing them. This is a psychic attack,  and unless it is recognized and resolved it can destroy people. In effect, Jane had been living her life through Bill for some time. He had been unconsciously picking up on her demands or intrusion into his personal space and backed away.

She sensed him withdrawing and psychically lunged at him, trying to hold him down. She had managed to some degree to drain him and manipulate him. But in doing so, she depleted her own energy, destroyed her self-esteem, ruined her health and almost created a nervous breakdown.

Jane was putting so much of her energy into Bill that it became exaggerated and unrealistic. She was making Bill bigger and better and much more important than he really was. She was making him God-like and at the same time, shrinking herself down into less and less.

Psychic cords are most noticeable when a strong emotional attachment has been established. They might not be as intense with other people, but they can exist in any relationship. Any strong, emotional, repetitious thought will create cords. Often they are weak and temporary. Ongoing jealously, anger, criticism or pessimism can create cords with co-workers, neighbours or anyone for that matter.

psychic cords, Skywriter

Often we do sense that someone is pulling our energy. We might not say it out loud or even think it through, but we just know that it is happening and we sense who is doing it. We might even retaliate without knowing it—psychic pulling and pushing or even a little psychic warfare going on.

There are certain people who might drain you every time you see them. You can’t put your finger on it as they appear to be pleasant enough, but they just leave you feeling tired or irritated. Without realizing it, we put up barriers, avoid people, snap at them without reason or tense our muscles when they come near us. This usually goes on without a word being said, most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing it.

 Remember that psychic energy is usually created unconsciously. We can very easily pull on people because they appear to have something we think we need, or someone might only represent something that we want.

psychic cords, Skywriter We can even fixate on events or objects. An example of this is when you highly desire something and put a lot of emotional thought, feeling and imagination into it. This is another way of bleeding out your energy and draining yourself.

Sometimes a past  trauma can keep our energy feeding into it. We don’t need to retaliate, or push back or pull in, we just need to sever the cord and break the connection.

If you do believe that a particular person is draining you, it makes no sense to struggle with it. The person needs something from you that you do not wish to supply. Why the person believes that you are the source is anyone’s guess and not worth thinking about.

 Don’t get angry or resentful or offended. Just imagine that whatever it is that they want is abundantly and perfectly available to them through other avenues. Mentally ask them to go to where their true purpose is waiting; wish them well and imagine that they are being pulled into the light, to be healed and revitalized. Imagine pulling a golden cord from yourself and out from them, then cut it with scissors. Finish by surrounding yourself with a protective barrier of light.

 About the Author:  Sonya Green is an author and healer based in Australia.  This material is excerpted from a longer article on psychic chords from her book, Reinventing Myself. The book can be purchased in hardcopy or ebook form on her website, www.reinventingmyself.com. On that site, you’ll find more of her writings on metaphysical and healing topics.


Responses

  1. Thanks for this! Great solution.

  2. Thanks for the great article!

    • thank you, Lea. There are many more related articles here under the categories Relationship Help and Relationship Astrology. I’m making a project of it, since Saturn in Libra is a prime transit for creating more mature, healthy ties. Donna

  3. This is a great article especially for someone who has Pluto starting to transit their Asc (me). I have Neptune in Sag. 12th house square Pisces Sun & Mercury. Aries Venus Rx/Chiron and Pluto in Libra.

    Almost every Man beginning with my father emotionally abused me, and I always accepted the blame and actually believed I somehow deserved the disrespect and degrading. That I was not worth much.

    I suppose I was foolish to not see that my Son was merely doing the same over all these years. It takes two to tango and takes two to lick each others wounds. I’m not a victim. I just NEVER imagined what I was setting myself up for down the road.

    It’s really, really, really hard to cut the cord when it’s your own precious child. When you know someone doesn’t mean to hurt you, insult, and demean you, they just hate themselves, and you just can’t accept that everyone doesn’t get saved. I guess there is always hope, that it’s never to late? Even when Pluto and Saturn have come?

    • That sounds very hard and painful, Urania7. I believe we can get smarter at any age and let go of patterns like allowing abuse. Cutting the cords–and keeping on working on it–is a good start. One other important stage in changing the pattern is getting rid of what are known as “thought forms” for they keep on attracting the same type of people into our lives until they are obliterated. Use the search engine on this site to find the articles on thought forms. Donna

      • Hi Donna, I have not heard of “thought forms”, but the concept and what you mentioned makes a lot of sense. I’ll be reading more about it soon.
        Thanks :)

        I’ve also stumbled upon a music album titled “Hospice” by the band “The Antlers”. It seems to follow the story of a very emotionally abusive relationship. I’m a Nurse with Hospice experience, so the title caught my eye at first. However, this album has turned to be a very helpful tool for getting me further intouch with my deepest wounding. I just wanted to mentioned the album. It’s really beautiful and deep.

  4. Thanks for this article. I had read it before, but needed it today. Two days ago, I “cut cords” with a man who I dated for almost four months. I feel like Bill who was under psychic attack and he seems like Jane who built Bill up to be her “saviour”, but Bill could never be “all that” to her.

    I’ve been working on boundaries, and told this man from our first date that I was not jumping into any relationship too fast and that I am just dating around. He ignored that (or got angry when the “dating” subject came up) and tried to put me on a pedestal, wanting to hook all his dreams on our “relationship”. My boundaries worked for me, but he continued trying to put all of his eggs in my basket.

    Little by little, I saw a dark, angry, possessive, very insecure and vindictive side of him emerge. Although I am an empath, I am also learning to separate other people’s feelings as not belonging to me, and especially not as mine to “fix”. I was usually successful at letting his negative emotions flow through me (instead of into me) but he did become too heavy and draining.

    I wondered if Jane were ever able to realize that what she needed was to find and then love her real Self. Or did she just find another man onto whom she projected her needs?

    Today, this man apologized for his behavior and asked if we could be friends. I told him I had absolutely no hard feelings toward him and that we could be friends. He immediately asked me out on another date. I said “No, just friends.” Like Bill and Jane, I doubt we can be friends unless or until he quits wanting to bind me up in these psychic cords and “own me”.

    So now, if he does keep thinking about me non-stop and sending out cords, then I’ll just have to repeat the “cutting ceremony” until it stops, no? I do feel sadness, and now I’m not sure if that is me or if it is him sending out thoughts. Hmmm. I guess both people feel sad at the point of a breakup.

    Well, as Urania wrote, it does take two to tango, so I clearly have more work to do on my own “process”. Off to look up your “thought forms” work.

    Thanks much for offering this article and this website!

    • I’m glad if it helps. One thing I do when I’m trying to stop a cord for good is to imagine that I’m putting a sealed rubber patch over the chakra so they can’t get back in. (I think about a patch on an inner tube, but that’s probably not an image that makes sense to younger readers. Donna

      • I got it! :) Patches on innertubes. They were from the Slinky, Silly Putty and Magic Bake Oven era. Oh, and Ronco Veg-A-Matic! Ah, I remember them all so well!

        Now I’m trying to figure out why I have attracted two men in a row with borderline personality disorder. What are the odds? I’ve never attracted them before. My mother had BPD with severe histrionics, though they didn’t call it that back then. Mom passed last year, and now men “like her” are finding me irresistable…in that “special” BPD love/hate kind of way. Hmmm. This may take more than a patch.

        Well, looks like I need to keep working diligently on my boundaries…and acquire a case of tube patches.

        …and I thought Uranus transiting my 7th House was going to be fun. Silly me. ;)

        Thanks again! I’ll try the patch visual.

      • Oh, the guys are probably just a bit of transiting Silly Putty, part of processing your mom’s death and re-experiencing all the effects she had on you and on the way you see relationships. Donna

  5. Thanks Donna. That makes sense and makes me feel better. I like comparing them to Silly Putty. :)

    At least I’ll have some time to sit back a bit for a few months when Uranus retrogrades back to my 6th house Pisces. Although Uranus there will complete a Grand Mutable Cross with my natal T-Square planets in the late degrees of houses 3, 9, & 12.

    With house 1, 4, 7, 10 cusps all at 1 degree Cardinals, maybe I’m the one feeling a bit like a giant stretched-out ball of Silly Putty.

    Hmmm….Mutable Cross overlaid with Cardinal Cross. Got any grounding exercise articles? ;)

    Thank you again for your articles and comments. You’re a true blessing.

    • LOL!! You’re asking someone with NOTHING in earth but Neptune to give you grounding exercises? When people ask me what I have in earth, I tell them I have FRIENDS in earth…good solid Cap and Virgo Moons, lots of Taurus, even Cap Rising. They look after me, and I’d be floating on water or air without them. Donna

  6. Donna,

    I have a question about this process: can you use it with long term intimates like family and 30 yr friends and still maintain a relationship with them; albeit a healthier relationship? Or is this just for people you no longer want any connection with at all?

    Thanks!
    Karen

    • Hi, Karen, The people we most need to do it for are those we are closest to, because they’re the most likely to have corded us in codependent ways. The relationship becomes healthier, though the people who are draining us psychically and are accustomed to getting energy feeding from us might accuse us of being more distant. The truth is, they don’t get what they need from us, what they need is a hookup to the divine sources of energy. When I unplug the cords from my chakras, I plug them into God and say, “God meets ALL of so-and-so’s needs.” Donna

      • Thank you very much! Think I’m going to go through an extensive cord cutting ceremony; I have mixed feelings about it as Saturn is about to conjunct my Venus, but figure it will highlight the relationships that just drain and don’t give back. I’ve been ‘closed for inventory’ (as a friend likes to say) reviewing my life and trying to heal lately. Yoga has been helping, so this seems appropriate at this point in time to move forward into a healthier level of relationships. Namaste, God Bless!

  7. Thank you for this great article. Yes, I need to cut a cord NOW. I have been with a man for over two years and he has abandoned the relationship time and time again. Fortunately, I kept the letters and diary of the behavior and wonder why I allow him to get away with distance, bad behavior and emotional battery. He has unresolve issues with this mother and I realize that I am a backlash of the attacks and arguments they have,nothing to do with me.
    I have been patient, kind and walked over time and time again. A birthday around the corner and I am going to celebrate by cutting the cord that is strangling my creativity and energy!

    • Go for it, Susan. And as I think I mentioned in the article, it doesn’t necessary end the relationship, just the unhealthy cording. Donna

  8. wow i can believe how this can be true.
    I’m very sensitive to this, especially due to my sensitive pisces moon. Alot of times I find myself getting swallowed up with other people, especially those with much stronger personalities than me.
    Then I start to feel so “drained” that I need to pull back completely and create barriers.
    I’ve been feeling unexplainabily “drained” the past week. And now after reading this article I am starting to see that it is probably from an interaction that happened a week ago, with my brother’s fiance. Her having a strong personaltiy and forcing her help on me among other things, totally led me to jsut back off, no returning phonecalls, no explanation. I just felt the need to retain myself.
    And she’s been spreading this frenzy to my other family. So it’s obviously on her mind alot.
    this is one cord that’s getting cut!

    Talk about psychic cords!

    • Hello, Jen, I think you’re onto something. I’m sure this individual believes she is being helpful, like some sort of savior. Do work on the chords, and other exercises in the articles linked to that one. When I want to make sure someone can’t “get at” me, I imagine that I’m using superglue to put rubber patches over the chord places, then a 500 mile thick wall of white light between me and them.

      Over the weekend, I’ll be putting up a list of links to articles on boundaries that have been published on Skywriter. I think you’ll resonate to some of them, so do check back in. (The title will say something about Neptune-Saturn aspects, just ignore that part if you don’t have one.) Donna

  9. Hi I like your article. I just read about this cord cutting a couple of days ago. I was feeling drained and someone kept coming into my mind that I absolutely did not want to remember. Very bad relationship. Well I did the cord cutting and immediately afterwards I felt very sick, like I was going to throw up. And it was as if someone was squeezing my heart, literally. I also became exhausted. The next day it was gone, and I felt my energy like I hadn’t in a year. I remembered who I was I guess. It was a strange experience to say the least. I don’t know if I was the one who was causing the connection, as I had a lot of very anger feelings towards that person, or if it was him, he as well had strong negative emotions towards me. But I am relieved to feel like myself again. It’s funny I really hope I wasn’t the cause, but if I was it’s upsetting that I could do that to myself. I literally was running on empty all the time. I am very empathic and I feel other peoples emotions very strongly. Is there a way I can stop doing that?

    • Hi, Sandy. I can certainly empathize with your experiences, because I’m a strong empath myself. I’m must say I’ve spent a lifetime trying to block out other people’s emotions, but I have to be aware of times when I am being bombarded with other people’s emotions and then put up my psychic shields. One that I use a lot is that before I’m in the company of someone who is upset or before I go out into crowds of people, I ask my Higher Self to create an egg shaped wall of white light around me. The more regularly you do this, the stronger the light gets and the better protected you are. Another thing I do after becoming aware that I’ve soaked up negativity from someone else (or when I’ve been out in crowds and come home drained), is again to put up that egg and pretend I’m vacuuming out any negativity I’ve absorbed.

      You’ll find several articles on this blog about what I call the cosmic soup– in other words, the shared psychic atmosphere of the world at large. It contains more information and techniques, so use this search engine at the top right-hand corner of the blog and type in ” cosmic soup” to find them.

      I would say also that it could help diminish the problem if you went through those exercises about cutting the cords with almost every important relationship in your current circle. Attune your inner eye and pretend that you can see the different parts of your body and energy field that might have cords and then remove them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a difficult relationship or a loving one, you can still absorb negative emotions when they are upset or become drained when they feel needy. You can overcome this Sandy, just persist and keep doing it whenever you are feeling that way. Donna


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