Posted by: Donna Cunningham | May 8, 2011

Boundaries, Neptune, and your Astrology Chart—a Refresher Course

©5-8-2011 by Donna Cunningham, MSW

Setting healthy boundaries isn’t easy—few of us are taught this skill growing up. It’s particularly difficult for those of us who belong to dysfunctional families. And yet when we don’t set and maintain healthy boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers, we wind up with draining relationships, lots of resentments, and more than our share of the work.

Boundaries have been a recurring theme of articles on Skywriter in the past, and it’s even more current given the effects of transiting Saturn in Libra. Below is a collection of links to astrology and self-help articles on this blog. You’ll find these tips especially helpful if you belong to one of these groups:

  • People with a strong Neptune natally
  • People with strong Neptune transits currently
  • People born with Neptune and Saturn conjunct in Libra who are having their second Saturn return (see 2nd Saturn Return Project)
  • People with transiting Saturn in the relationship houses

Articles Related to Boundaries on Skywriter:

  • FREE DOWNLOAD: This chapter of my ebook, Counseling Principles for Astrologers explains codependency, how to see it in an astrology chart, and its implications for practicing astrologers in depth. Download it here: 2014 Ch7 CPA.

Other Related Articles about Neptune on this Blog:

Articles about Transiting Saturn in Libra:

Readers, how well do you handle boundaries? Where are you doing well, and can you share some tips on setting boundaries with our readers in the comment section?

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Responses

  1. Ah, establishing boundaries. Such an important topic and an even MORE important practice! I grew into my teens and early 20s with really BAD boundaries, and it took a lot of practice to set some good ones for myself. Even now I have to “Boundry Up” with myself, when maybe my knee jerk reaction to a situation is to jump in to try to “Fix” it, or if I find myself saying “YES” when I really mean “NO”.

    Thanks for this post today from an Aries gal living with a Libran guy :)

  2. Your resident curmudgeon reporting here, ma’am.
    So much sharing going on over the Saturn/Neptune project…surprising to me how many pop-psych buzz-words are involved… Are these people writing from a maximum security prison?–or have they been watching waaay too much television?
    I’m starting to get the Sat/Nep conjunction from less Cardinal perspectives –and how painfull it must be. Yikes! As I wrote once before,- having MARS tucked neatly between the buggers seems to have worked for me.
    BOUNDARIES?…Heck, I use a moat–and I stock it with alligators.
    Delete as needed…

    • lol! What do you need the alligators for? Your mouth can obviously do the trick! :P

      • Thanks, VR…I’ll take that as a compliment–though it was over the top, I admit. I get impatient with ‘pity parties’ and should keep that to myself. Have a good one!

      • Hi Berta!
        I must say I’m relieved by your response! Obviously between me and you, you’re the bigger person here!
        I admit I came on too strong on you. Please excuse my rudeness, it wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I was just trying to make a point.
        They way I see it, Donna has 5000 readers a day. Each and every one of them (of us!) has an opinion -good or bad- on other people’s comments. They can’t help that. It’s human nature!
        In that respect, when someone leaves a comment here, he puts himself in a pretty vulnerable position, which is why, imo, he deserves our kindness and respect , if anything, for having the courage to share publicly his (sometimes painful) life experiences with us. And I’m glad you realise that!
        As for those who question your boundaries, you have my blessings: give ‘em your best bite, girl!

  3. I think i have pretty good boundaries, married an addict .. took a class while he was in treatment and aha… learned the lessons right the first time. I have neptune close to Venus and also a wide conjunction to Saturn which is stronger.
    here’s my rule:
    screw me once, shame on you
    screw me twice, shame on me.. If you don’t get it after the second time you have codependency issues…

  4. It took me waaayyyyyy too long to even understand what boundaries are! They are in place now, but I took a real whipping learning how to start setting them up. Wish I’d learned it a long time ago.

    The best tip I have to pass along is to learn to use the word “No!” And with emphasis! Understand the difference between what you want and what you’ve got and how compromising your boundaries can set you up for years of disappointment.

    I’m a ways off from perfecting this art of the boundary and still live with some things I don’t want, but I’m getting better. And so is life.

  5. I was scornfully told not too long ago, “Boundaries?! You have no boundaries!”

    Scorpio Neptune conj Desc in 6th with Scorpio Moon. Cancer Mars Rx in 3rd. South Node in Pisces in 11th opp Virgo Pluto in 5th. I don’t think I was designed to have boundaries.

    I’m improving using Bach Flower Remedies and, uhm, feedback from my friends. o~0

    • Boundaries are a learned skill, Parin, so keep working on it. Nobody was born with them. May I ask which remedies you’re using? Donna

  6. Had boundary issues for the longest time, tho I’m Aqu rising, a good deal of Pisc is in my first house. Lived through too long of a time of when ‘friends’ were like family because of not having good relations with my own….I learned that sometimes who you think is a friend is only out to abuse your hospitality! So for a long while I shut down and wouldn’t be sociable with many at all, once my environment changed…….but that wasn’t good either in the end of things…..all the experience taught me how to spot someone like that finally, and now I’m all good!

  7. Boundaries in dating is a very good book. It provides many examples of problems in relationships and how they are worked out. This book gives good evidence to support dating, but it also gives good reasons when dating should be put off. It helps people in relationships to get through conflicts, and it helps others avoid conflicts in future relationships. This book is a great guide for those who are looking to start better relationships with new people, and those who are looking to give their old relationship a new start. I really enjoyed this book and I thought it was very helpful. I learned a lot about dating, and how certain problems in a relationship might be my fault instead of my partners. I recommend this book to every male and female, single or not. It will answer many questions about conflicts and boundaries in dating today.


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