Donna says: This series of excerpts from Mary L. English’s books on all 12 signs of the zodiac has been very popular with Skywriter’s readers, and her newest one is out now. Here, with permission of the publisher, is an excerpt from How to Care for a Cancer: Real Life Guidance on How to Get Along and Be Friends with the 4th Sign of the Zodiac.
©7-20-2013 by Mary L. English
When a Cancer is growing up, they enjoy the whole being in the arms-of-the-ones-they love or, equally, embracing-the-ones they love. It’s a two-way street. Generally, and I say this cautiously, because there is always someone this won’t apply to, Cancers love their mothers. They just do that automatically. As mother represents all those things they love: being cuddled, having tasty food, feeling together and feeling safe. Even if their relationships with their mothers are challenging, they still yearn for that one true love of mother-dom.
I can’t tell you the amount of clients who have told me that one of their children just doesn’t seem to want to leave home. And if I enquire a little further, their Sun sign is Cancer. The parents are generally Air or Fire signs, as they’re the most independent signs… and there their child is, all grown-up, with a job and a car and a partner sometimes, and they still come home for dinner, still sleep in their bed in the childhood bedroom. They make themselves useful with helping around the house, doing shopping, paying bills, so any mother in her right mind surely wouldn’t want them to fly the nest.
I even know a Cancer lady I read for who married a man, then divorced him and married his brother so she could continue to stay in the family home. The divorced brother even continued to live in the same house. We did some tie-cutting.
If you want your Cancer to leave home, you will have to plan very early in their life. Plan ahead. You might even have to downsize to help them leave, as even if you use their room for other purposes, they’ll sleep on the sofa, or even on the floor. Make the moving out as gentle and as thought-out as you can.
Encourage them to stay the night with friends. Explain that you need your freedom too. Teach them about managing their finances and paying bills and all of the practical things that leaving home entails, otherwise you’ll have them back in two months because they didn’t pay the rent.
Find out what their Moon sign is, and work around satisfying that part of their psyche to make the move easier. If you’re still having problems, get their full birth chart made up, and look at their 4th house and the planets that are in there (or not) as this will give you an idea of the type of home they feel most comfortable in, and then you can help them recreate it in their own home.
Here are some examples, though all 12 signs appear in the book:
Libra Ascendant or Moon: Be nice! Libra/Cancer will be an indecisive wreck and pointing that out won’t help. Stay away from any decisions, don’t ask them what they want; in troubled times they can barely think, so make all the decisions about lunch, shopping, cooking and eating. Find something truly beautiful and share it with them. Point out some lovely things that are true, take them to see a beautiful sunset, take a walk through a pretty meadow or landscaped garden. If you don’t have the time or the money, set their computer to have a picture of nature on their screen saver. Listen to gentle music together. Just ‘be’.
Capricorn Ascendant or Moon: As this is a more serious combination, your Cap/Cancer will enjoy wise words from an elder, someone older than them, who has been there, done that very thing they’re fretting about, and has got the tee shirt. They like to think of serious, practical, traditional subjects that have meaning; and when they’re in a headspin, prefer and respond better to wise council.
If you’ve got any elderly relatives, drag your Cap/Cancer to see them, so they can understand that everything-will-be-alright. To get to be old, you have to have taken some risks, so finding out how this older relative might have survived their own tragedies will inspire your Cancer to better things. If not, tell them about how your mother/grandfather/elderly neighbour handled it, or how someone from long ago that you heard of/read about did it. Use examples that contain results and feelings.
Pisces Ascendant or Moon: The sign of the mystical and spiritual Pisces/Cancer will love the more esoteric solutions to problems so you can use Angel cards and the flower essences to assist. They also need time and space to reconfigure, as they’re more likely to have picked-up everyone else’s feelings and angst which might have contributed to present problems. Keeping a dream diary also helps during wobbly phases.
Once a Cancer has made the move and created their ‘own home’ they’re fine. It’s just making that transition that can be more challenging.
Donna asks: Fellow Cancerians, what was your experience in leaving home, and how have major moves affected you as an adult? Readers with Cancerian children, was it hard for them to leave home? Share your experiences in the comment section beneath this post.
More Posts from Mary’s Zodiac Series:
- How to Survive a Pisces Dad—and How I Survived Mine
- How to Survive Your Pisces Sweetheart
- How to Bond with an Aquarian Woman (the most popular one among Skywriter’s readers—what is it about Aquarian women the puzzles us so?)
- Scorpios in Service Careers—Dealing with Life and Death
- What Makes a Capricorn Father Tick?
NOTE: Here’s a direct link to order this book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Care-Cancer-Guidance-Friends/dp/1782790632/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1374325651&sr=1-1
The Kindle book is already available too,
and can be made available on every different format:
All of Mary’s books in this series on the 12 signs are available in every different format, so you can get them on Nook
Itunes for Mac devices
Amazon (books and Kindle)
Biography: Mary English was born in London and educated in Switzerland at the American International School of Zurich. She comes from a large family and is one of 5 children. Mary has been writing since she was 13 when her sister Lucy (a published author of fiction) gave her a diary for her birthday. Mary lives in Bath, UK with her husband, son, and her black cat.
She sees clients face-to-face and writes personal Birth Charts for visitors to her website. It was these consultations that inspired her to write about the Sun Signs to help her clients understand their motivations and learn about their Astrology profiles. Mary is a member of the Society of Authors, The Astrological Association of Great Britain and The Association for Astrological Networking. Visit her website at http://www.maryenglish.com.