©12-19-09 by Guest Blogger, Kachina of in2themystic
Donna says: I found this awesome, awesome article at in2themystic. It’s such an important contribution for those who are struggling to learn the lessons of Saturn’s transit in Libra, in particular the visualization she presents for setting boundaries. It will be of special value to those with outer planets like Neptune or Pluto in Libra natally in major aspects to the Ascendant, Sun, Moon or Venus. My thanks to Kachina for allowing me to reprint it.
Saturn (boundaries) is now transiting Libra, the sign of relationship, balance and justice, and boundaries in relationship have become the hot topic of the season. Boundaries and relationship go hand-in-hand, you just can’t have one, without the other. As Saturn transiting Libra is a collective influence, unless you plan to become a Hermit, this is an area everyone has to come to terms with these next 2+ years.
I do not see boundaries as ever being about the other person, they are always personal, and solely about You. People that lack healthy boundaries, are often inclined to playing the ‘victim’ and the ‘blame game’, they feel that everything that occurs in their life is the result of an others actions. Yet being in the space of victim-hood is not a fun place to be.
There is no happiness there, no joy, no self-fulfillment. Victim-hood is the residence of stress, and of anxiety and anger. Victim-hood harbors guilt, shame and self-disappointment within it’s walls.
Yet if you find yourself residing within victim-hood, you can make the choice to step out of those walls, and it really is much easier than you may believe. I am a firm believer that: “No-one and No-thing can cause us harm nor control us in any manner, unless we allow it, to be so”. And this, is where boundaries come in.
When I assist others, in the area of boundary development, I often offer a visualization that I feel breaks boundaries down to the bare bones, and simplifies the subject, making it quite easy to immediately start building boundaries in your life, and enforcing them with others, even if you are one that has struggled with boundaries previously and are currently feeling dis-empowered in many of your relationships.
Before you proceed with this visualization exercise, there are a few points you must first set within yourself.
1. Boundaries, are born and nurtured, out of Self-Respect.
You have likely heard it said many times before that “To receive the respect of others, you must first respect your self.” A tried and true premise, for myself and many others, that have developed strong and healthy boundaries.
Love your self enough, to care about your own happiness and welfare, claim your equality in the Whole of Creation, and choose to step into Boundaries, as a symbol of your Self-Respect. Gift your self, with the same Love and Respect, that you gift unto others.
2. Boundaries are not about taking action against others. Boundaries are about defining what actions, you will and will not tolerate and/or expect, being preformed unto you.
We can not dictate the actions of others, but we can and should, dictate our own actions in a manner that is serving our Highest welfare. This is the concept of existing in a state of action, not reaction. When you have boundaries, a need never arises to be reactionary, for even if another challenges you in some manner, they cannot effect you, for they are not within your personal energy space.
By maintaining your personal energy space, and standing firmly within it, you are afforded all the time you need to respond to everything and anything, that approaches your borders. You determine, what you let in, and what goes out, not any other.
3. When setting boundaries, it is important to build upon a foundation, that you hold firm upon, in every relationship.
It is not uncommon to see that the people that have the most difficulty setting boundaries are the one’s that are complicating the whole matter in their approach. Boundaries are not easy to develop and set if you attempt to instill them in a one-on-one manner.
In other words, if you are currently feeling overwhelmed with many relationships in your life that feel out of balance, and you are feeling severely trespassed everywhere you turn, it is simply not going to be efficient to try to work each and every situation out individually and with different rules for each relationship.
You are unlikely to achieve much success this way and will probably just get lost in all of that drama and confused about what it was that you were even attempting to do.
Instead, clear yourself to the best of your ability of all of your thoughts of any personal nature, concerning these existing unbalanced relationships, where you feel like the victim.
Just dump the ‘but he does this and should do this’, and the ‘but the kids do this and should do this’, and don’t forget, ‘but my boss did this and should have done that’.
Throw it out the door and let it go, at least long enough, to do the visual.
Visualization for Setting Boundaries
You are on a boat, just you, in absolute solitude.
You are peaceful and content in your solitude.
Your boat is adrift upon the waters of a lake, and not a single person is within the waters, surrounding your boat.
Surrounding the lake in the distance there is land.
You can see people standing on that land.
Yet the waters are broad and expansive so you cannot hear these people nor interact with them in anyway.
You, are happy and relaxed, and you really like your current state of being.
As you’re floating happily in your boat, allow yourself a moment, to make note of how this space feels, for this is the vibration that you wish to set within yourself, as your personal space.
This is your personal comfort zone.
This is YOU, within the energy, of Self-Love and Respect.
From within this Space, now focus your attention towards the people standing on the land in the distance.
These people, are not literal people, in your life.
These people, are a metaphor and symbolic of experiences you have had or are currently having, that leave you feeling victimized and unappreciated.
One at a time, each of these people that are symbolic of your experiences, is going to enter the water, and swim towards you and your boat.
Now envision your body, as the full containment of Self-Love and Respect, your body is your intimate personal energy space.
The boat in which you sit, is your extended personal energy space, this is your surrounding energy field, that protects and contains it’s precious contents, You.
You have full ownership of yourself and the boat in which you sit.
The water that divides you, from the others on the land, is shared energy space.
This space is owned and shared by all equally, therefore, no one has any more or less right, to avail themselves freely to it.
You are now in your personal energy center within your boat, and you notice a person from on the land has entered the water, and is swimming towards your boat.
This person is not anyone literal in your life.
This person is a symbol, of a behavior or situation (an energy), that you have experienced in your life.
Now recall and focus, on a situation or a behavior, that you have previously experienced with an other, that was not desirable to you.
An event that left you feeling bad in some manner.
As the swimmer approaches your boat and you once again feel discomfort as you did previously when in contact with this person that is symbolic of a behavior/situation/energy, affirm that you no longer wish to have this experience in your life.
Simply state: “No, this is not an Energy(situation/behavior) that I deem to be for my Higher Good. I shall no longer accept this energy into my personal space, nor accept the projection of this energy, upon me.”
Now visualize the person, that is the representative of this energy you have just renounced for yourself, as having reached the water around your boat.
Yet because they are treading water they are unable to grab on to your boat or to reach you in any manner.
Take a moment to set your boat (extended personal space), as the no-cross zone, for the vibration of the energy you have just renounced.
From this moment forward, this renounced energy, shall never be able to enter your boat, unless you grant permission.
The swimmer that is symbolic of the renounced energy, is now treading water, but not touching your boat nor you.
The person is in the shared energy space of the water, so it is their choice to remain there as long as they like but this is of no concern to you, for they cannot effect you in any manner.
As long as you do not reach out to the person, and invite them into your boat, they shall not be able to enter your space, and after a period, will tire of paddling around your boat even, and will head back to the land.
Now the energy that this person symbolized, is far removed from you, and unless you intentionally focus upon the land, it’s presence is not even noticeable to you.
You have now successfully redefined your boundaries energetically, and it was that easy, to do so! This visualization can be done repeatedly for every energy that you wish to set a new boundary for. The symbolism used in this visualization, with practice, becomes less and less necessary as a tool. After you have reset your boundaries for everything you no longer want within your space, flip it up! Utilize the visualization in reverse, with the ‘people’ representing what you DO want in your life.
When using it as an ‘open door’ for what you do wish to have in your life, remember to invite the beneficial person/energy into your boat, and set your intention then as: “YES, I Desire and AM Worthy of, this Energy within my Life. I AM accepting of All Gifts of this Energy and I AM Thankful”.
It is then the choice of any person that carries that energy to adjust their energy to be compatible to yours, or to simply move on, and stay outside of my boundaries. They may or may not be conscious of what is happening, yet it does not truly matter. If their energies are not compatible, they will be repelled in some manner, likely feeling as if they just don’t like being around you for a reason they cannot identify or feeling a ‘nervousness’ in your presence, and that is the end of it.
Donna says :This excerpt from Saturn Transit Libra> A Lesson in Boundaries: A Simple Visualization and Energy Technique for Boundary Development is one of many helpful articles on Kachina’s site. Here are others she’s written related to this topic:
- Sensitive to Energies? Simple technique for flowing external energies.
- Simple Technique for Releasing & Transmuting Energy
- Who’s Garbage is in Your Bag and Why are You Still Carrying it?
For More Articles on Relationship Issues on Skywriter: See the category Relationship Help.
The Author says of herself: I’m Kachina, the author of “in2themystic”, a place born of my passion for sharing with others my knowledge acquired from my experiences as a practicing spiritual medium and energies worker/healer. I am also a pupil and practitioner of astrology. As an aspiring writer, I offer my personal insights into areas such as consciousness development, self-healing and self-empowerment. My insights are offered from the foundation of my own life challenges and achievements and from the experiences of others of which I have assisted in their journeys through self-healing towards self- realization. If you are interested in contracting my services, please see my “Consultations/Services” page for a description of my area’s of practice. Or, or write to me here: email@example.com.