Posted by: Donna Cunningham | January 20, 2010

Chart Clues to Marriage—Will You or Won’t You?

Donna Cunningham astrology wedding©2009 by Donna Cunningham, MSW

“What does my chart say? Will I ever get married?” 

I’m retired now, but as a professional astrologer, I came to dread that question. I also seriously toyed with offering a substantial discount to any client who’d pledge not to ask me when they would meet their soul mate.

Why, you ask, would I do that? Because those kinds of questions lead astrologers down a path with so many potholes that we simply cannot help falling into them.

The trouble is, the single but hopeful client doesn’t want a truthful answer, any more than the woman who asks, “do these slacks make my butt look big,” wants to know the truth about her posterior.  Face it–would you want some astrologer to look at a piece of paper, and with a shake of the head, inform you that you’ll be single all your life? 

You’re in trouble, whatever answer you give–and they DO press for an answer.  If you said “no, I don’t see a marriage,” then whether you’re were  right or wrong ( a 50/50 chance), the power clients attribute to such a prophecy can be devastating. Your words could wind up creating the very thing you’ve forecast—a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or you could take the coward’s way out and give the safe answer fortune tellers use: “you’ll meet him in about two years.”  Then you’d  feel like a fraud.

I do not believe astrology can predict the future of one’s marital status with 100% accuracy any more than it can predict death. That is one of my many hesitations about pronouncing on those pothole questions to being with.  But the client is pressing for an answer, and  if you told the real truth, “I DON’T KNOW,” then they’d decide you weren’t that much of an astrologer after all.  Whatever you say, you wind up disappointing or giving pain or both.

 The Best Predictor of Marriage

Beyond that is still another dilemma, which is that given the ways the institution of marriage has been vastly reshaped over the past 50 years, I’m not so sure astrology can predict whether a legal marriage will occur or not any more.  (See the section later about the series of outer planet transits through Libra during those decades.)

Furthermore, having followed many clients’ and friends’ charts’ over the past 40 years, I’ve come to believe that astrology isn’t the best predictor of whether an individual will meet and commit to a partner. HISTORY is a better predictor, and the astrologer who doesn’t get a relationship history from the client is likely to prove inaccurate.

What I’ve observed is that there are relationship-prone people and people who aren’t relationship-prone. The person who isn’t relationship-prone can sometimes have transits or progressions that look ideal for love and not meet a soul, much less a soul mate. Relationship-prone people can have either the worst or the most piddling tranits for romance, and they fall head over heels and hook up with a partner. Go figure.

Let’s say you have this client you’ve grown fond of over the years.  She’s single and 30 and has never had a serious relationship, hasn’t even dated for a good long while. So here she is again, and she’s paying you good money to give her some good news in the romance department.  And you look, and by gosh if there isn’t Jupiter transiting the 7th and something  promising happening to Venus, so you both get all excited, thinking this year is IT!  So she comes back a year later, and tells you she didn’t get so much as a wink from a guy in all these months.  And you have to admit, to yourself at least, that there are moments when this job BLOWS, just like any other way of earning a living.

So What DOES the Chart tell us about Commitment?

That said, the chart does tell a great about the romantic obstacles to be overcome if the person is to have a good, long healthy relationship.  In particular, there are differences among the outer planet aspects to Venus in their degree of willingness to commit to a partnership.

These aspects don’t make marriage impossible by any means, but they do complicate it. We all have outer planet aspects in our charts and thDonna Cunningham Skywriter wedding astrologyus we all have issues to work on–just part of life. For these people, it’s just that learing how to have close relationships is a major task for this lifetime.

Venus-Neptune natives–or those with Venus in Pisces–don’t just want to commit, they want to merge, so they can become addicted to love and immerse themselves in one codependent relationship after another. Working on boundary issues and on getting free of codependency can greatly improve their chances of a successful relationship.

Venus-Uranus types above all else want freedom and independence, and so they often engage in a seemingly endless parade of short-term attractions until they find someone who can give them room to keep  growing and exploring themselves and their potential. It’s as much of a friendship as it is a romance, and that can be a great thing.

 Like most aspects involving Pluto, Venus-Pluto people can fit into one of two extremes, either totally, compulsively joined at the hip with a partner or—having been badly burned—totally turned off to the idea of having a relationship at all. And yet many of them do marry and stay committed for a lifetime.

People with Venus-SDonna Cunningham Skywriter wedding astrologyaturn aspects are gravely reluctant to enter into a partnership for several reasons. For one, they would consider it a binding agreement that entails a lifetime commitment and tremendous responsibility. Second, they are extremely conscious of roles in general and the traditional male-female roles of spouse and parent in particular, and so in committing to a partner they would also be committing to a role that they may or may not wish to fulfill.

Finally, some Venus-Saturn individuals believe that you have to earn love by working hard at it and generally don’t believe that they are inherently loveable. To avoid the rejection they anticipate, they may retreat behind walls and focus on a career.  For many of them, their career represents a deeper level of soul commitment and entering into a relationship and parenthood would detract from it.  Many of them do marry, at last, later in life when they’ve enjoyed success in career goals and thus can allow themselves to have a lasting tie.

How Outer Planets in Libra Affect Marriage

Although Libra is supposedly the sign of committed relationships, potholes on the path to marriage have gotten in the way of eternal love for many Librans born between 1941 and 1984. Those obstacles are represented by the same slow-moving planets we’ve been discussing:  Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto. One by one—and sometimes in pairs—they spent decades traveling through Libra:

  •  Neptune in Libra from 1942-55, paired with Saturn in 1950-53
  • Uranus in Libra from 1968-75
  • Pluto in Libra from 1971-1984, paired with Saturn in 1982-3

You’ll get more details about these placements in another article I’ve got in my to-do stack. But what you’d be looking at in the chart would be any conjunction the outer planet forms to another Libran planet, especially the Sun or Venus or the 1st/ 7th house cusps (i.e. the Ascendant or Descendant.)

In those cases, the aspect would be similar to a Venus aspect to the outermost planet in question. For example, Neptune conjunct a Libra planet would have a flavor of a Venus/Neptune aspect.  With these outer planet aspects, healing is possible, but like everything to do with the outer planets, it takes time and maturity and commitment to change them.

What Can a Person do When the History Says No?

When an individual fits into the not relationship prone category, healing work is often needed to change a decision about relationships that they have made at a very deep level. There are many articles about healing methods under Healing Tools–Essences, Light, etc. and Relationship Help.Donna Cunningham Skywriter wedding astrology

One major barrier to a relationship in this lifetime is a current or past life vow of either chastity or eternal commitment to a particular soul. Such vows may not be conscious ones, but they hold great power and need to be revoked consciously and explicitly in some form of ritual in order for a new relationship to be possible.

For instance, I often find that at a very deep level, people with Venus in Virgo or Virgo planets in the relationship houses (7th, 8th, and 5th) take their wedding vows extremely seriously and remain faithful, even long after a divorce. Doing a conscious revocation of the vows can shift the situation so that they are once again available for a commitment.

If you suspect that you are still bound by vows that have outlasted their relevancy to your life, you may need to make a conscious re-decision about that before you can allow yourself a second marriage.

To do so, you might use the technique of writing a canceling-out and reprogramming statement 70 times a day for 7 days–something like, ‘I revoke the vow of eternal fidelity I made to my mate.’ Finish the process with some sort of symbolic act or ritual like burning the paper it was written on.  (An article that would shed additional light on this process is Pay-as-You-Go Karma–One Path to Peaceful Relationships.)

P.S. Apparently from the responses this article is getting around the web, it’s not possible for an astrologer  to even WRITE honestly about these questions in the abstract without falling into some serious potholes.  Does this post make my MOUTH look big?  Maybe I should be doing a series on how to meet your soul mate and be blissfully and eternally in love.  It would all be fantasy, but it would make people happy.

More Articles about Relationships & Venus on this Blog: Donna Cunningham Skywriter Mars

Articles for Professional Astrologers:

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  1. I think deep down all the people that ask this question “will I ever marry?/ will I ever find someone?” know that you can’t tell them anything. But they ask anyway, because they need hope and that is a counselor’s job. And you need to be able to enter their minds and lives and to extract from there exactly the piece that will touch their hearts and give them hope for a while longer.

    Love for some is inspiring and beautiful, for others is cruel and mean. One thing LOVE is NOT – FAIR – and this is truely disheartening! If you want a promotion you comply with the standards and work your ass off, if you want love…here there is no criteria, you either have love or you don’t. And if you are among the latter category, keep your head up and play the cards you have been dealt to the best of your abilities.

    I definitely feel like a loser in the game of love-relationships but I am determined to face my defeat with as much style and elegance that I can.

    • I agree with you 100%, Criss, that the counselor’s job is to inspire the person and give them hope. I guess what I wrote just reflects that after 40 years and many thousands of clients, the amount of pain and discouragement you soak up from those who haven’t found fulfillment in love finally gets to be overwhelming. That’s one of the reasons I no longer do individual charts–it’s time for astrologers with younger, more abundantly nourishing heart centers to take over the job of doing that. Donna

  2. What about the ones who do not feel complete without a mate? where do they fit into this story?
    (maybe it’s the venus * pluto?)
    I didn’t have an astrologer tell me I was going to get married, but i did have a psychic tell me. And I laughed in her face. And she was right!

    • LOL!! Well, it’s always gratifying to be proven wrong when someone predicts something for us and we say, Never!”

      I think Venus-Neptune, Venus-Pluto, strong Libra, do have a sense of incompleteness without a mate. Donna

  3. Being a relationship-prone Venus-Uranus type I appreciate what you have to say. I know several people who long desperately for a relationship but won’t do the inner work in order to accept love into their lives. This is a question we get all the time, maybe the #1 question. I think even people with the most difficult charts for relationships have the potential if they do the work though. Can you tell I also am a Venus-Saturn type? Lucky me it’s an exact trine 😉

    And Criss, I hope the game isn’t over for you. I have Jupiter and Venus both in the 5th and believe there is always another chance at love.

    • It’s true, Nikki, of any outer planet aspect and the area of life it’s operating in…if we don’t do the work, we don’t get the pay-off, so it’s no point to blame the lack on the outer planet….mybe a balance of the outer planet and the Inner Spine is what does it. Donna

  4. I used to date a man with Venus/Pluto/Moon in Virgo. That man was definitely looking for the ‘perfect’ woman. I wasn’t his perfect woman.
    I have Moon/Uranus in Cancer on the MC and was definitely not looking to be joined at the hip with any guy. I enjoy love and relationships and am monogamous but I also like my emotional freedom. Joined at the hip is not for me. Too much “we” make me queasy.
    He later married a girl he used to date in college and Boy Howdy are they like two peas in a pod emotionally.
    The guy and I are still friends (not close but we email sometimes) and he can’t seem to speak of himself separate of her. They even sometimes wear matching outfits when they go out for the evening! Gag me!
    I have a female friend who has her Pisces Sun in the 7th house and Pluto ascending and when she emails or writes me now, she always does it in conjunction with her boyfriend and speaks as “we”. I am glad she is happy and loved but I sometimes wonder what happened to the original person I used to know previous to her love merge.

    • Hmm. I, too, often feel rather abandoned when friends meet someone and they’re joined at the hip. I guess it’s part of life I won’t understand. Donna

  5. One does not have to work as an astrologer very long before being asked about love & marriage. You covered all the bases quite definitively and accurately in my opinion.

    It has been my observation if people paid more attention to their behaviors and less to what was coming out of their mouths they may have better luck sustaining relationships. But you won’t catch me telling them that! Oh no. I value my skin too much! 😀

    This subject brings out the “snark” in this Libra . . .

    • LOl, Diane. I’m relieved to hear from another pro…this has been another of those days where I post and then spend the day thinking I just ought to delete it. We’re way out here on the frontier in the blogsphere, and for the past 35 years or so that I’ve been publishing articles and books, I had an editor who would pull me in off the ledge if I was going too far in what I wrote. Donna

      • no, no, don’t delete, these posts are great! you are making people think 🙂

      • Thanks, Mimi–I don’t seem to be able to stop myself anyhow!

  6. Donna,

    Before I met you and my other astrologer friends, I resisted the idea that astrology or any of the rest of that “hocus pocus stuff” had any relevance for me, because I never heard it explained in conjunction with free will.

    Today I understand more about myself thanks to astrology, soul realignment and other “hocus pocus stuff” (phrased with love, I assure you!) because I was lucky enough to meet people who reminded me that just because my chart reflects a potential for something, or my soul’s purpose is such-and-such, I still have free will. That means I can deny what I recognize to be true, I can ignore the potentials, or I can allow the information to soothe me, guide me and help me make sense of my life and who I am here to be.

    So, I, for one, would appreciate (though maybe not like so much) being told “I don’t know” by an astrologer if I were silly enough to pose such a question. The only person who can really answer “Will I ever marry again?” is me! And I know that.

    That said, I hope you stay out here on the ledge and speak your mind, because I very much appreciate your years of experience and wisdom, and I know your intention is to be of service. Send anyone who wants to argue that to me! 🙂

    • Thanks for that vote of confidence, Suzanne. And for having my back, should I need it.

      Folks, Suzanne Bird-Harris of is my “blog lady,” the person who makes this blog behave itself with her awesome knowledge of all things WordPress. The next thing she’s going to make happen on Skywriter is polls, so y’all can speak your mind on all manner of things astrological. If you’re ever in need of technical assistance, Suzanne is the person to turn to, and she has a special gift with astrology sites, as her astrologer-clients will testify. Donna

  7. Thanks for having the courage to stay out on the ledge, the leading edge, I believe: otherwise, your knowledge, experience, and consequent wisdom would be sorely missed by all of us ‘out here’. If predictive astrology existed, it seems likely you would be castigated by individuals desirous of reasserting their own free will. Lucky for us, we are the ones we have been waiting for, to make and find our own happiness and fulfillment, with the generous assistance of voices like yours.

    • Thank you, Sabina. You ARE the ones we’ve been waiting for. Donna

  8. I think astrology tells you what kind of relationships you’ll have, possible pitfalls, strengths, needs, not if you’ll actually get married. I don’t think astrology can tell you that, or how many kids, or if kids, or what job, it tells you qualities. Look at astro twins, or the Dionne Quintuplets their lives were very different so I don’t think the chart can tell you this, if it could all astro twins would be exactly the same.

    What do you think? Are we being honest about what a chart can and can’t tell.

  9. I think it’s great you wrote all these things – the balance must be maintained, and all these people who fool themselves with “it’s not my fault” explanations – they need a reality check. heck, Saturn is in Libra, afterall.

    besides, when someone asks an astrologer a question so full of anxiety, the problems are already evident, and they’re asking for a miracle, not an answer. what they want is a confirmation of their pretend identity – I’m great, I’m doing everything right, I don’t have to make an effort, things will that fall flat into my lap, etc.

    so – good for you. the world needs brave people like you.

    • LOL!! So true, they’re asking for a miracle, not an answer! Donna

  10. I can’t understand that you’ve had hassle about this post. Do people really believe that love is all flowers and fluffy bunnies and there isn’t one ounce of work involved?! For some reason your post made me think of Joolz Denby’s work; certainly the darkside but very profound.

    I have Venus to outer planet bingo; I’ve got the lot. It’s little wonder that I’m very picky about what I’m looking for in a partner 🙂 but it does mean that I would rather be single than with the wrong person, although there is always hope that the right person is out there!

    Venus trine Pluto means that I’m very aware of the potential transformation/pain of love. Venus semi-square Saturn is very serious about relationships and commitment and I’ve certainly grown into that one since my Saturn return (thank goodness!). Uranus conj. Asc sesquiquadrate Venus – regardless of the other two aspects and the weak angle, this one is very strong but it combines to be a tricky combination of bonding and independence (I could never ever be joined at the hip and become the royal ‘we’). Finally there’s Venus opposite Neptune at the bottom of the pile, simply because the other aspects are stronger I think. Phew. And then there’s the two planets in the 7th house – like I said, picky!!

    • HI, Tizer. I think the place you’ve come to about relationships is a very sane one–people with OP aspects to Venus HAVE to be picky, because they aren’t your average person and need someone that matches them well in order for the relationship to work and not detract from the quest to integrate that outer planet into the earthbound life. Donna

  11. Hello Donna,

    So much food for thought here. I Love your savvy and grounded astrological style. You provide an opportunity for people like me to think by providing earthy and practical knowledge. And are so appreciated. I am 47 w/ Venus, ruler of empty 7th, conjunct Neptune and Asc., square Saturn (I take relationships seriously and used to have anxiety att
    acks at weddings!). Sextile Pluto which I consider feast or famine by my choice. I may never get married. And am thankful for my chart. I am justified and contented by the info that I must have a partner who is Not ordinary. I have always known this. Also, it looks by reading your orb degrees, that my hopes for Jupiter trine, isn’t by 1 degree. Peace.

    • thanks for your kind words, Laurie. Orbs really are flexible, depending on what Jupiter is trining (Sun, Moon, wider orbs) and whether it’s part of a wider picture (grand trine, for example, or conjunct another planet that is trine.) Donna

  12. good article. Venus conjunct Pluto and scorpio sun in the 7th. I used to ask astrologers when a relationship would happen and the predictions were always wrong. It happened when I least expected it and oh boy did I get burned!

  13. I never thought about being married as a kid but when my boyfriend of 3 years asked me ( I was 16) my reaction was super hyper negatori to put it mildly, and I never saw him again. Then I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would NEVER marry and at 66 years old, I have not. The wild stallion that courses through my blood will NOT allow it! However I always knew I would have children and I have.
    Venus conjunct parallel Saturn exact in Cancer parallel Mar conjunct parallel Uranus in Gemini and all parallel Pluto in Leo and MC. So all of the above you have said about Venus with any of these planets is True!

    I DO NOT like this non Indian cultures take on women or marriage and would NEVER yoke myself to it. Surrounded by it in the cities in my youth, it next to enraged me, but now after years in the near wilderness its trappings are flicked off like a bothersome fly.

    I am a sovereign entity and no one should DARE to even breath on it! My dander is up and ready to do battle should any poor soul dare make a proposal. It always amazes me that men I have loved and had a good relationship with have always ended it by proposing , as if it should be a logical conclusion! Even addressing this issue has my adrenalin moving.
    You would think at my age this reaction would have mellowed. ????

    Do not get me wrong. I have non Indian friends who are very happy in their marriage arrangements and I do not rain on their parade.

    In Indian Culture ( just explained it to my grand daughter). WOMEN owned, designed and built the home and was RULER of it! The man always came to the land holdings of the woman. Women were treated and thought to be a tad more SACRED than man. The man was guardian of the sacred circle of Woman and Children ,NOT its ruler or abuser as we see today.

    Todays statistics say men are most likely to beat a woman when shes pregnant than at any other time! This is outrageous and guarantees a regression in future generations.! Now thyroid problems are epidemic ( radiation exposure) and women are going nutz doing outrageous things to men and their children. We are at the end of an age and all this was predicted but seeing it is ….there’s no word for it.

    Back to the past Indian culture of woman:
    A man moved into the woman s home with his bundle and if she divorced him, the woman set his bundle out the door and he no longer could call that his home. If the man divorced the woman , he went the the central village fire and through in tobacco saying, ” I throw this woman away”…and that was the end of it. Both had to have very good reasons for this kind of action and most likely everyone already knew what these were. It was not done lightly and it was rare.
    The COOKING area was her SACRED Alter, where the woman cooked and blessed the food and water.NO ONE would be running in and out of this area while she was cooking or shall we say conducting ceremony; anymore than people would be running back and forth over the alter of a catholic priest as he does his incantations!
    As you should be able to guess women were the FIRST chemists as they combined herbs and invented food storage techniques.
    Women are natural nurturers and men should weed the garden because they are natural destroyers , hence the war monger culture of today where the boys are allowed to blow out of their britches! It ALL must be kept in balance ( Libra Rising)
    The doorway was low so one had to bend over, coming into the home and brace themselves with the palm on the ground. Head bowed. This was an occasion to HONOR the home and woman and witness that EARTH mother and this home built by woman , the nurturer, was SACRED. It was also an agreement that the visitor would HONOR the laws of that home laid down by its owner…the woman who owned and built it.
    I tell my grand daughter that this is part of WOMANS power and it MUST be Taken back! To this effect I will be working to re institute this amongst female Indian youth.
    Such a home built by women shall cleave to the Earth mothers bosom and take full advantage of passive solar and Geo thermal sources of heat! They shall be round and NOT patriarchal phallic which are maintained and positioned to run contrary to the laws of nature and which waste precious earth resources. Native Indian womans homes shall husband Earths resources for those future generations who survive the forthcoming earth changes.

  14. It’s a late reply but I like the no-nonsense tone of this article. I agree with you that some people are relationship prone and some simply are not. I fall into the latter category and I find myself having to do a lot of work on myself, as you mention. It’s a real test of character, and it better have results that are nothing less than amazing.

    I have a Sun/Moon square (11th and 8th houses), N.Node in the 1st, Saturn/Pluto in the 5th, Neptune in the 7th and Venus in the 12th. Mercury/Mars, N.Node, Saturn/Pluto and Neptune/S.Node form a rectangle pattern in my chart. These are relationship houses; I had a lot of work to do since birth. I was “trouble prone” when it came to relationships; all they did was cause grief, whether I was in one or not.

    Saturn is opposite my Venus now in transit. Typical of such, I find that being alone is the better choice, because my other options are to repeat my old dating pattern. But fear is good if it can ward us away from bad things. I find myself unable to return to my old ways romantically because of that fear.

    But factors indicating strong independence are also to blame. I’ve been living on my own for a time and it has made me too hard and tough. To attract another person one must be vulnerable – a weakness through which another can enter – but I am not, and I don’t think I ever was. This is the self-reliant, hardened attitude of a spinster.

    Can this change? A curious question, since I am being forced back into the role of dependent, as I have to move in with family because I can no longer support myself financially. In transit, I see Pluto moving to activate my Sun-Moon square from the point of my Moon. Then there’s Uranus, who will activate it from the point of my Sun. Dependence versus autonomy. If aspects are like scales, then the independent/autonomous side of my scale has been heavily activated and used all my short life, despite deep leanings to have some dependence and partnership. Attempts to pursue the dependence urge were fruitless, so I relied all the more on being independent, which has led to this seemingly endless singleness. Using it to my advantage, I was able to examine my experiences and attitudes to find out what was wrong. I think all people who aren’t relationship prone need this singleness for that very reason. Otherwise, they’ll continue to be failures in relationships. Let’s face it, some natives are lucky and dealt with these issues in past lives. For whatever reason, us perpetually single folks did not, and we are forced to confront those issues this time around.

    I also know now that via 12H Venus and 7H Neptune, I have a vulnerability for deceivers and Neptunian characters. I have to learn a healthy type of vulnerability and to extract myself from environments where such negative Neptunians abound. I already learned how to reject them, so some progress was made. Saturn has shown me how to see people for who they REALLY are – in essence, how to pierce Neptune’s veil. I like Saturn as a planet for that!

    But my work isn’t finished. Before Saturn opposing my Venus now, there was Pluto working on my 7th house/Neptune/S.Node, and Saturn squaring my Venus. Oddly enough that combo produced my first boyfriend (the start of the relationship work I had to do this lifetime). Saturn transiting my 5th produced a stream of short-lived relationships with sub par individuals. When Saturn moves on, the Uranus/Pluto square over my Sun/Moon square will be in full swing. I do not see myself getting married until my mid to late thirties, when my work will finally be completed. Part of the Uranus and Pluto transits may involve the relationship that leads to marriage, but it will be a rocky road. The 8th and 11th houses are not considered relationship houses per se. However, the 11th house rules friendship, a foundation for a strong romance, and the 8th rules sex and intimacy. I can already see that my challenge will be to bridge the gap between friendship, a form of human relationship where I am comfortably autonomous (I’m pretty popular socially; I have a lot of charm and charisma and people like that), with intimacy, a form of vulnerability that I learned to fear and avoid. Pluto will strip away that fear; Uranus will feed the desire for independence.

    For natives like me who are not relationship prone, you need to look at your 1st, 5th, 7th, 8th and 11th houses. If there are many planets there and a strong aspect pattern between them, then you have to learn about the energies of the planets, the areas of life ruled by the houses and do your cosmic homework. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the negative cycle.

    • I relate to much of what you say, being not relationship prone myself. Aries Moon and Midheaven, Mars score off the charts, and as an independent woman, never was able to fit into the traditional roles. It’s not a fault to be so, just not what men traditionally look for, alas. Donna

      • I have Mars opposite Saturn and Pluto. I can relate. My masculine energies are extremely strong. It’s difficult for a woman to have a relationship in that case. She seems complete by herself, so men don’t approach her. Of course the losers will take a shot at anyone, so we wonder why we keep “attracting” them when in fact they go after anything (this applies to men too).

        I began to notice only recently that the energies I put out are “stay away” and “you aren’t good enough.” These are defense mechanisms I created to keep no-good individuals as far away as possible. But being that closed off means everyone will stay away, even good people.

        But I need to soften up in other areas. I’ve lived on my own for too long. I don’t think people should live by themselves. It goes against human nature. We’re social and should live in groups or at least pairs. Now I have to learn how to let the right people back in. I know this will be difficult, but I don’t have a choice – Pluto will be reworking the house of intimacy, and my Moon.

        Your Moon and Midheaven are Aries? In what degree? Has Pluto squared them yet? What house is your Moon in?

      • Very insightful. My Sun is at 12 Cancer, My Moon at 14 Aries, and my Midheaven at 14 Aries. So the whole transiting Cardinal shebang of Pluto-Saturn-Jupiter-Mars is very active in my chart. Although I’ve been very nervous about it, it’s biggest effect so far has been for me to spend several months revamping all my ebooks and starting to tackle my antiquated website.

        The slogan for this transit appears to be GO BIG OR GO HOME. I need to write a post about that.

        (Not to mention that I live in a high rise that has been under major reconstruction for 4 months already and has a couple more to go. The noise is appalling, but the consequences if they DIDN’T do the work would be disasterous. I’m just praying we don’t have a tremor, as this area is prone to them.)

      • the Pluto/Uranus/Jupiter transits are to my 12th house Sun and 9th House Aries Moon on the Midheaven.

        I’m not able to blog much now until my website redesign is done, but those are good suggestions. I’d like to get feedback on the Go Big or Go Home facet of these transits, too. Donna

  15. Funny that one of the ways your Moon-t.Pluto square is playing out is through renovations to your home – so Plutonian! What’s your Sun and Moon house positions? I’m curious.

    I’d appreciate a post about Pluto transits to the Sun and Moon. I’m so bored of the “cookbook” snippets so many sites provide. I’d love to hear other people’s experiences and how their transits correlate.

  16. thanks for the great article, and thanks for leaving comments open 😀 I really like the truths expressed here – I recently have had to contend with this question in an astrological way, and I kinda wish I’d just read this and given up trying – or at least passed on the bit about ‘not relationship prone’. But I went ahead and took the question at face value, plunged into it, and we’ll see what will come out (the person in question most definitely was NOT relationship prone – funny how little that has to do with actual attractiveness, intelligence, good heartedness, etc)

    I will probably pass on the Healing link regardless, I’m pretty sure that there is stuff there to work on for her


  17. There is definitely some truth to your article. I find astrologers have better chances at predicting marriage and kids to people whose charts have mainly harmonious aspects rather than people’s whose charts are mainly made of challenging aspects. I guess for obvious reasons. But more often than not people with harmonious charts rarely consult because the status quo works in their favour.

    I agree people consulting about love are after a message of hope.
    I have a chart full of challenging aspects (oppositions to Venus) and I am definitely not the type you describe as relationship-prone, my astrologer told me things would not go easily but she did say something I am truly thankful for. She said : “Keep trying until it works, and with the right partner it will”.
    So my message of love and compassion to those dealing with challenging aspects in the love/relationship area is the same: it won’t be easy but keep trying until it works, and with the right partner it will.

  18. Why does it seem like getting married or being in a committed pair is mandatory and if u prefer to be alone u need a healing? I had to laugh when a person in India did my chart. He said I had a very bad chart for marriage but a very good one for not marriage! He also said I would b a good astrologer and good with the bed comforts and could I one to India and he would teach me their astrology. He said I had a very bad chart for a owning a house but very good for moveable objects, it’s true but funny. I enjoy being alone and raising children but once in a great while have a rantic fling. When the honey moon chemistry is over I’m down the road as fast asy horse can carry me! It’s the Mars/Uranus conjunction parallel, parallel pluto. Venus/Saturn conjunction parallel,also conjunct the north node of pluto and parallel pluto and the Mars uranus stuff. Aries rules the 7th and Aquarius the 5th. I do not like the “roles” in this culture , resent the thought forms and love my sovereignty and freedom.

    • I never cared for the traditional roles either, Barehand–a major reason I never wanted to marry.

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