Posted by: Donna Cunningham | February 12, 2010

How to Survive Your Pisces Sweetheart

©2009 by guest blogger, Mary English

Note:  This is an excerpt from Mary’s new book, How to Survive a Pisces, which has chapters not only on romantic relationships but also on dealing with Piscean family members, friends, and children. 

Where do we start? First of all, understand what sign you are. If you’re a Fire sign and your Pisces has got Fire in their chart, all well and good, if they haven’t, then you’re in for a hard time. Aries women will want their Pisces man to do this, and do that, and speak to so and so and organise this and remember that………….and don’t forget the milk.

A Pisces man will put up with most of this, for a time, then one day you’ll come downstairs and your Pisces man will have gone. He’ll either physically go, out the house , bag in hand or he’ll slip away from you slowly by getting ill, or drinking, or taking drugs or seeing someone else. Anything to avoid the direct onslaught of an Aries woman ‘on his case’.

This is where the Mars and Venus books come in handy ‘cos a Pisces man, in fact any man needs to feel in control, and that’s where you’re going to have to agree to disagree. He’s the boss, so are you. But the Pisces man doesn’t want to be the boss. He wants to mooch around being inspired, watching flowers grow, or reading quietly. If you’re a Fire sign and you want to stay with a watery Pisces then please allow him TONS of space. Maybe even his own room in the house, that’s sacred and HIS.

If you’re Leo or Sag, being gentle also applies. Try to avoid cutting comments and ‘advice.’ He won’t need your advice unless he asks for it. Your ‘get up and go’ is opposed to his relaxed attitude and that’s the thing that gets to most of my Firey clients with Pisces lovers: the fact that he can be so relaxed when the boiler breaks or the car crashes. He’s not you. You are. RELAX!

If you’re an Air sign, again things aren’t going to be too easy. This is called a challenging combination. I have a client who is a Pisces, his lover is a Gemini. She likes to talk, he likes to muse. They’re both creative, artistic people but he came to see me because he was worn out by all that Air. All that needing to explain and rationalise and put-into-words. Air signs like reasons and discussions (I read that as arguments but I’m biased).

Air signs want to verbalise things, chat about them, lock horns in debate……this poor Pisces was now drinking to escape the eternal nagging. That’s how he saw it. He had no room to walk the dog, no space he could call his own. He was being crushed by a feeling of being dried-out like a bit of sea-weed left in the sun. Too much Air and a Pisces gets dried-up and cranky.

If you’re a Libra there is some hope. Libran’s like to be balanced and fair and there are similarities between you. A Libran will want things to be fair, just and equal. A Pisces will want things to be beautiful, connected, flowing. A Gemini will want things to be interesting, snappy and cerebral and an Aquarius will just want things to be interesting. I once read an interesting summary of ideal places to take an Aquarian on a date… abattoir. Why? Because it would be different. Pisces man and Aquarius woman is another challenge. She wants lots of friends and to save the world, he wants lots of space and to go back to a past-life, or a previous dream.

If you’re a Water sign, you don’t need too much advice. You have a truer understanding of how a Pisces man will fare in love and war and you’ll enjoy his touching appreciation of your love and care.

 Again though, don’t try and make him into something he can’t be. If you’re Cancer, he’s not your Mum, if you’re Scorpio he isn’t having an affair and if you’re another Pisces………………then good luck because as lovely as dating your own sign is, Pisces together rarely works out well.

And I must tell you about my theory here. You date the star sign you have the most ‘issues’ with. Say your Mum was a Pisces, then dating a Pisces will allow you to work through the issues you had with Mum, in a detached way, but it’s still your Mum and your stuff. My first love was a Pisces and years later I realised I was working through ‘stuff’ to do with myself. You get a sort of mirroring thing going on. All the things I loved so much in him, eventually drove me crazy.

If you’re an Earth sign your Pisces love has a much better chance of survival. Water rests nicely on a bed of earth, just be careful that things don’t get boring. A Taurus male friend once joked to me that being with his watery Pisces woman made for a muddy mess. If you’re a Taurus, your love can last provided it’s exclusive. Taurus don’t get jealous easily but they do like you to be there for them.How to Survive a Pisces, by Mary English

If you’re Capricorn you are in the driving seat and your Pisces love will stick with you, provided you stay true. Again watch out for the boredom factor. If you’re Virgo you are the opposite sign to Pisces and I don’t know any relationships where this has worked. It’s not impossible but as Linda Goodman said fairy dust is what Pisces like and Virgos aren’t too hot on fairy dust. Check out your Moon signs to make this work.

Note:  How to Survive a Pisces by Mary L English DSH is now available on Amazon ….and is published by O-Books Find out more about Mary and her work here:  Astrologer email:

Here’s a book blurb, written by someone you’ll recognize:  How to Survive a Pisces is the first in a planned series of “How to Survive” guidebooks to all 12 zodiac signs. I love the part that covers the different kinds of relationship. This book is full of vivid and accurate observations of Piscean natives in a wide variety of relationships from lovers to bosses, friends and a full spectrum of family members. Herself a Pisces, she presents wise counsel for dealing with them in each of those situations—what to expect in both day to day life and in crisis as well as strategies to cope when the going gets rough. Donna Cunningham


  1. Donna, I am very surprised by Mary’s comment about Virgo and Pisces relationships (I don’t know any relationship where this works). My step-daughter, sister-in-law and two of my best friends are all Pisceans. When I began noticing how many Pisceans were in my family and friend circle, I assumed it was a positve take on ‘opposites attract.’

  2. Hi Trishia,
    Thank you for your valued comments. I was writing about romantic relationships Virgo=Pisces not friendships or in-laws. The only romantic ones I know that have worked have had a Moon/Sun conjunction……and that’s too difficult to explain in a light-hearted Sun-Sign book.
    Are you a Virgo yourself?Have you got Moon or planets in Pisces? Or Sun in the 12th? That might be why there are Pisces in your life!
    In Peace
    (a friendly Pisces)

    • This is super funny because my husband is a virgo and I’m a pisces. We’ve been together 15 years and still very much in love. People are often shocked that I still get butterflies in my tum when I think of my hubby or see him after even a few hours apart. I’ve even had comments that its not natural for us to be still so in love after such a long time but we just hate being away from each other and really do admire one another. We sometimes argue, usually over a small thing but nothing explosive, usually its all over and done within 15 minutes. I’ve heard that these two signs along with our chinese signs are incompatible but we’re going strong and the future is bright!

      • No, I think the two opposite signs balance one another as long as there is give and take. Donna

  3. I’m a Cancer, and I’ve always enjoyed Pisces friends and boyfriends. They sometimes cannot be “all there” right when you need them, but they always understand you, on a deeper level than most. They are great to go to a concert with, to the movies, out to eat, and have always had wonderful senses of humor. Gentle, kind, sensitive, creative and intelligent. My kind of people. Oh, and often quite psychic and intuitive. Just don’t try to pin a fish down…give them space and they always come back. Gotta love them!

  4. Great article! I am a pisces but I have a moon in capricorn, a mars in aries, a mercury in aquarius so I can relate to most people. I would agree air is hardest for me. I love fire sign men, I like some earth men and am married to a cancer now. I was married to an Aries however.

    I was with a virgo for a year and a half that I loved. But he had a venus in scorpio and a mars in cancer so he had a lot of water to his Virgo sun.

  5. I have only ever dated one Pisces guy, back in the day.(All my long termers have been Leos with lots of Virgo)He was Pisces Sun/Aries Asc/Gemini Moon and had three other planets in Pisces.
    He was a sweetie but what a space cadet!
    He adored me but somehow it felt unreal, like he was adoring an ideal, not the real me.
    And he was too moody for me.
    But what a sweetie!
    I have Jupiter in Pisces in 5 and Neptune Ascending, so can understand Pisces to some extent.

  6. OH..And my Pisces guy was clingy..Not something someone with Moon conj. Uranus appreciates!
    One day he was bugging the heck out of me when I was trying to bake a large fish. He kept hassling me, trying to tickle me, etc. (do NOT interrupt a Leo Sun/Cancer Moon woman in the kitchen, where she is Queen!). I picked up that very large fish by the tail and slapped my Pisces guy in the face with it! Very slapstick and very fitting (and fits very nicely with my Moon/Uranus sense of humor!)

  7. I’m a Capricorn married to a Pisces. Today is our 10th wedding anniversary, though we’ve been together for 21 years. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so glad I stayed with him!
    I am definitely in the driver’s seat but we don’t get bored, we trust each other totally.

    He knows many people and is well liked. He will help anyone, the classic Pisces giving the shirt off his back! Good thing he has me around to tell him to put it back on.
    Though he is sensitive and very intuitive,I wouldn’t call him a sweetie, and is not the most romantic person. He does have 4 planets in Aquarius. I call him my savvy husband!

  8. Interested to hear about the challenges of aquarius and pisces – I have six planets in aquarius and three of them are in the 12th house – sun/venus/saturn all sitting on top of each other. I also have a very high Neptune count (58 by donna’s criteria).

    Just wondering if that awkward air/water dynamic is playing out inside me??

    • Definitely an awkward air/water dynamic with your Aquarius/12th house split, Jay. I’ve got several articles about 12th house planets on this blog, including one on famous folk with 12th house Suns, so check them out. I’ve also got a brand new 12th house article today. (I’ve got a 12th house Sun myself.)

  9. Timely for me. I’m a Sag with Neptune rising. And the man who seems to be around more and more is a Pisces with a Sag Mars. Not yet at stage of knowing whether anything will come of it.

  10. Haha, does this count with a Capricorn sun-conjunct Sag-Neptune by 6 deg orb?

  11. Why does Aquarius always get such a bad rap. Take him to an abbatoir? That’s a slaughterhouse! With 4 planets in Aquarius, including Sun and Moon, I find the idea of visiting one repulsive! But, as to her main point – that Aquarians just like things to be interesting, she’s got that one right!

  12. As a Scorpio with lots of fire in my chart, I ALWAYS fall for pisces and I ALWAYS loose them. What ends up happening is that I get tired of them not being straightforward and as I sense their feelings I get mad that they won’t say them since it feels like they are not being truthful since I ALWAYS tell them what I’m feeling even if its difficult (probably my sag rising). If I couldn’t tell what they were really thinking it probably wouldn’t be a problem. But since I do…and for whatever reason they always end up hiding something which I later find out. And then my Aries moon paired with my scorpio sun and Leo mars gets mad and I cut ties. Holy god I am a pisces worst nightmare. lol

    • Well, Pluto/Scorpio types like you and me can see what’s going on beneath the surface, and when people don’t own up to their feelings and motivations, we don’t trust them anymore. The trouble is, half the time Pisces don’t even really know WHAT they’re feeling, because when they’re upset, it’s like a lens going out of focus….they don’t really KNOW what it is that they’re feeling. Donna

      • Yes its pretty maddening. One Pisces would talk about me behind my back all the time…not bad things. Wonderful things lol. But he would never tell me up front, always dodged actually expressing himself. I didn’t understand this so as much as I felt that he liked me my logical side thought he didn’t like me that way. He had an open relationship with someone in school so I cut ties with him. A few months later I heard from my friends that before I cut ties he had decided that he was leaving his girlfriend for me. Without ever even talking to me about his feelings or even asking me if that’s what I wanted. The craziest thing about this is that I’m not really even mad at him. At least not anymore. I understand that the whole thing was based on the fact that he has a serious fear of confrontation. I reached out to him at some point because he was also a good friend of mine before the craziness but he never answered. I guess that’s ok. Maybe its better to not risk the whole thing happening again. I wish him the best.

  13. I am a Pisces sun and jupiter and my husband to whom I am married for 15 years is a sun mercury venus Virgo. My first boyfriend was a Virgo, some of my best friends were Virgos and also some of the journalists and public figures I most admire. This is not just about friendships or in-lows, far from it. We discuss a lot, but things would be boring otherwise. In general I observed that people with whom I have some real difficulties are not those opposing my planets, but those putting Saturn on my Sun or having their Sun on my Saturn.

  14. I would like to give an opinion about virgo and pisces
    I am a pisces (scorpio moon) and I adore virgo-folk. I could see how a less developed fish would hate virgos but really, they are the most intelligent and understanding of all signs, imo. They (we) can sit in silence without awkwardness or agitation. Our styles of humor (the ones Ive had the pleasure to know) are similar and we love to be silly and live in the moment, at least on a surface level.
    We seem to keep our true emotions to ourselves and if need be we (both signs) will discuss any problems we cant deal with on our own. Virgo’s are great at pulling us out of the clouds and making us see the reality in situations, even when we (pisces) think we’ve covered everything. Pisces can obsess over internal issues but virgos definitely have us beat because they first think of everyone else and then themselves. Pisces are opposite and can become selfish in our answers to ourselves thinking we’ve come to good terms with the problem but we havent because of our “backwards” approach. For some, you would never want to tell a virgo they were right all along, but really.. They always are. I would think Scorpios are usually always right too but virgos arent as painfully proud when saying i told you so. Theres always a little sting, whereas virgos will be humble in their approach and ease your pain.
    They really are a joy to be around, even with their sarcasm. Virgos will make you think and sometimes will poke at you if you dont know as much as them but they wont be mean about it unless YOU give them a reason to be.
    But as I stated, a less developed fish will resent a virgo for their knack of always being right or their “perfection.” Pisces wont allow their virgo friend or lover, to know, the perceived power (in a pisces mind) they have over them because of their selfishness but if they would grow they would understand their virgo only wants what is best for them and already understands they will always have the upper hand. (pisces just needs to understand that its okay to take a back seat every once in a while) Pisces will only feel tested, negatively, if they are holding on to the things that are hurting them. Virgo can but doesnt understand why a pisces will endure the things they do when they both know its bad for pisces.
    I think virgos are the first to tire in any relationship because of their logic but if the fish is developed Virgo will find their fishes traits endearing.
    It can be beautiful in any match, pisces just has to be mature and realise their fantasies arent a safehaven. Its a personal hell in which we escape because we should be making those desires real, if its actually possible.
    One thing I really love about virgos is that they understand the need for silence and personal space. The only thing is that if you never let them in they will detatch slowly. As any person would but they wont pry and force a conversation. They always think of the other person first and I believe more people should be like them.

  15. I like Virgos too. My best friend at school was a Virgo. They always get a bad rap in astrology I think, because they always come over as one-dimensional bores – how organized they are – which makes them sound like they run around chanting “I am not a man, I am a number!” (having said that, my best friend at school was a very good organizer / grounded etc.) But she was also genuinely kind, sensitive, loyal and never had a bad word to say about anyone. She was funny and a bit silly too. I’ve found that in discussions related to astrology, Pisceans (like me) tend to be pegged as Space Cadets who never do anyone harm. That’s just not true; we can be as mean spirited as the best of ’em. I’m definitely something of a space cadet, and I MUST have my “me” time – but I have Aries in Mercury and Moon in Scorpio. If I have something to say to you; you’ll know about it, and it won’t always be pretty! Though I’m working on becoming less negative. One day at a time. Very, very, very difficult for a “double water” sign.

    I would dearly love to be another ‘sun’ sign. Perhaps a Leo. I might allow myself a ‘Pisces’ moon, but I suspect I’d be better off with no more water in my main planets / satellites. I’m beyond fed up with introspection.

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