©10-3-2010 by Donna Cunningham, MSW
You may have noticed that this blog seldom has posts about the Sun Signs. I’ve set a new goal for myself of writing a post about each of the 12 signs, so today I’m trying to put myself in Scorpio’s shoes.
That’s not easy for me to do. My feet are extra-wide with weak, wobbly ankles. Scorpio’s shoes are those 4” high, narrow and pointy pumps. I’d last in a pair of those a hot five minutes before vowing to go barefoot for life.
But, yeah, let’s all put ourselves in Scorpio’s shoes. Just imagine that you were the most misunderstood, maligned sign of the zodiac. Think what it would be like if people constantly snickered and made smutty jokes about your sex life.
And what if, your whole life long, everybody projected their paranoid crap and their own shadow side onto you at the slightest provocation? What if the parents of teenage girls forbid them to date your Scorpio son just because of his sign?
Okay, I exaggerate. Slightly. But I’d bet if that were you, you’d develop a really warped sense of humor, just to survive…and Scorpios do know how to survive! Their wicked wit is one of the things I love most about them. So let’s celebrate Scorpio humor today.
I don’t really have to look any farther than my sister, who has a Moon/Jupiter/Midheaven conjunction in Scorpio and a Pluto score for the millennia. If you’ve ever wondered where I get my weird sense of humor, it’s hereditary. I got it from my sister.
During the time I was going through replacements for both hips, I faced many mobility challenges, and there were many types of movements I wasn’t allowed to do during the recovery. One way I kept my spirits up was by reading Buddhist books, and I became a Buddhist for a couple of years. For some reason, I had trouble telling my sister about my Big Conversion, and she was the last person I told.
In one of our long-distance calls, I told her, “But I don’t pray to Lord Buddha. And I don’t chant and bow. And I don’t prostrate myself on the floor.”
The voice of reason from her end of the wire: “Of course not, sweetheart. If you ever got down there, how would you get back up?”
My sister is known for her practical jokes, though some of them backfire. Her granddaughters were going through a phase of dying colorful streaks in their hair. She decided to freak them out by dying her newly-grey hair a bright purple.
When she showed up at a family gathering with the purple hair, the girls freaked out all right. And so did she, when it turned out that grey hair stubbornly holds onto color and she had to live with purple hair for several months.
Black humor, anyone? The kind homicide detectives crack at autopsies? My sister would fit right in. She’s had decades of really terrible health crises and a number of surgeries where she died on the table. When she got home from the hospital after one of her Near-Death Experiences, I called to talk to her about a serious concern.
Hemming and hawing for a while, I finally got the question out. “When you die, what do you want us to do?”
Silence on her end of the wire for a few beats. “Are you asking me what I want you to do with my corpse after I croak?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Just shake me and bake me.”
Readers—especially my Scorpio/Plutonian readers—do you have any examples of Scorpio humor? Share it with us in the comment section.
More Impertinent Articles about the Zodiac Signs:
- Why Cancer Isn’t a Popular Sign
- Spotlight on Leo—a Tale of three Queens
- WHAT IF….Virgos Ruled the World?
- Why It’s Hell Being a Libra any More!!
- How to Survive Your Pisces Sweetheart
- How to Survive a Pisces Dad—and How I Survived Mine
Astrological Humor Posts:
- And You Thought Pluto Wasn’t Funny!
- The Astrologer with a Magic Lamp
- Clients Say the Darndest Things!
- What’s So Rare as a Day in June? You tell me!
- Funny Quotes and Cartoons about Uranus, Venus, & Mercury
- Chiron: Send in the (Wounded) Clowns
- Mayan Calendar Jokes: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the End of the World
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Art Credits: The shoes are from a large selection of amazingly reasonable–and, yeah, sexy–footwear at Amiclubwear Shoes.