©2011 by guest blogger, Amanda Owen
Note: The following is an excerpt from The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve (Tarcher/Penguin) by Amanda Owen. If you find yourself giving more than you receive, this book will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. Based on over twenty years of research into the nature of receptivity and its link to manifestation, The Power of Receiving offers a unique vision for anyone seeking to create greater reciprocity in their relationships and more harmony and abundance in their lives.
“If I let them buy me lunch, take my child to the fair, give me a gift—what will I owe them?”
Have you ever felt that you will have to do something you don’t want to just because you accepted a gift or help? The concern about creating an obligation is an issue for many people. Here is an example:
Linda’s husband died after a lingering illness. Although she had limited coping skills for managing the logistics of her life, she frequently turned down invitations from parents of her children’s friends for sleepovers. Having time alone would have been a welcome relief, but feeling unable to reciprocate, she declined these offers.
Would the parents understand her inability to give in return? Knowing her circumstances is probably why the invitations kept coming in the first place! And the truth is, had she been able to receive the gift of time to herself, Linda would have had more energy to give to her own children.
There are times when it is not possible or even prudent to return a favor. The Random Acts of Kindness movement is all about just this—passing on a kindness to someone other than the one who performed a good deed for you.
Here are a few questions to consider when someone wants to do something for you:
- Are you concerned with what someone will think of you if you don’t reciprocate?
- Are you concerned with what you will think of you if you don’t reciprocate?
- Do you think most people have ulterior motives when they want to do something for you?
- Do you feel undeserving of anyone doing something for you?
- Are you afraid you will have to do something you don’t want to do if you let someone do something for you?
An experienced Receiver does not fear being indebted to a Giver because the gate of giving and receiving swings both ways—receiving sometimes and giving at other times. It is only when you don’t have practice at both, that it is easy to be confused about what your needs and rights are.
What about you, Readers? Does fear of being indebted to the giver hold you back from receiving? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
See another excerpt here: Do You Know How to Receive?
See Amanda’s previous article on Skywriter here: Neptune’s Role in Giving and Receiving
About the Author: Amanda Owen’s research during the last twenty years into the nature of receptivity and its link to manifestation led her to develop a system that helps people manifest the lives they want by developing their capacity to receive. She reports her findings in her latest book The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2010) Learn more about Amanda and The Power of Receiving at www.ThePowerofReceiving.com