Posted by: Donna Cunningham | March 29, 2011

How to Bond with an Aquarian Woman

©2011 by Guest Blogger, Mary English, DSH

Note: the following is an excerpt from Mary English’s new book, How to Bond with an Aquarius. Published by O Books and available on in Kindle and paperback, this perceptive analysis discusses keys to maintaining relationships with Aquarian lovers, fathers, mothers, siblings, children, bosses, and friends. This segment focuses on Aquarian women and what they are looking for in dating and friendship.  

To bond with an Aquarius, you first have to understand their motivations. What makes them tick, the breath that keeps them alive. Each Aquarius will have a different life-view: The Ascendant, a different home: the house their Sun is in and a different way of dealing with emotions: the Moon, but underneath all of this is the unchanging gestalt that they are a member of the human race working towards being with other like-minded people.

 Being Friends with an Aquarian Woman

 Aquarians find it hard to live without friendship. It’s their motivating factor. An Aquarius friend will meet you and want to experience something with you depending on their Moon sign and other chart factors. They mostly can manage on their own.

 Unlike other signs who need partners to feel complete or whole, as a general rule Aquarius can exist quite happily by themselves. However, to deprive an Aquarius of friendship would be the biggest form of torture of all. And humanitarian issues. They are very hot on these too: the planet and the freedom of the population.

 With no access to friends or clubs or societies or groups they will fade away. What motivates them, is for them to think they are a small cog in a big wheel.

For example, they may join the National Trust. Not because of the history (that’s Capricorn’s department) but because their memberships makes them feel they belong to something bigger and if they have a friend who is a member, better still. One lady commented (and she has Moon in Gemini) “I like groups though I like to dip in an out of them.”

They can have lots of friends or one or two but they must have friends so if you want to bond and be friends with an Aquarius you will need to have your ‘interesting-person’ hat on.

Dating an Aquarian  Woman

To bond with a female Aquarian lover, one thing is for certain—don’t even think about removing their sense of freedom. A captured Aquarius is a little like a bird in a cage, beautiful to look at, but pining for the freedom they have lost. For instance: “I don’t like the word bonding, it makes me feel a bit shackled and it almost feels forced…”

To date an Aquarius isn’t difficult provided you are interesting or interested they will want to be in your company. Aquarius is a fixed sign and doesn’t like too much change. However to date a female Aquarius you do need to have:

  • an opinion
  • a viewpoint

The quickest way to turn off an Aquarius is to be suffocating or jealous (unless they have a lot of Cancer or Scorpio in their chart). That just won’t wash.

You will also have to have some means of transport so you can visit places, a few bob to pay for tea and some enthusiasm for what you’re doing.

If you date an Aquarius s/he won’t be worried about how you look, or what you wear, leave that to the Librans and the Leos, s/he will want to know about your thinking process and are they similar to theirs. Do you think along the same lines? Is freedom part of your vocabulary? And are you doing something different or in a different way?

I can’t remember where I read this so please excuse me if this is your idea, it certainly wasn’t mine, that an Aquarius would enjoy a visit to an abattoir because it would be different. This isn’t like Gemini who wants change for changes sake, they want different as in not the same as the masses. Not mainstream. Not the same as everybody else.

If you want to date an Aquarius I suggest that you find about first what their main interests are. Also don’t worry about who you are or what you do for a living. Those things are not important to an Aquarius. What is important is ‘the ideal’ that you will share and it must be something that you can share….the ideal that is, or the idea.

To get an understanding of what an Aquarius needs in a relationship I thought what better place to find the answer to that question than a dating site. The nitty, gritty bits that they find most important when they are looking for a partner.

In the first part of one (long) profile, one Aquarian describes her likes and what she does. She puts her age and physical description and that she likes the theatre, cinema, art and music and “even a bit of dancing”. She says she also enjoys a night in with “good company, nice food and a good bottle of wine, a DVD and/or music and banter.” Now, unless you were an Astrologer like me, you’d skim over those words and think they would apply to most people.

But the beginning of the description includes things this lady does on her own like the walking…she doesn’t actually say she’d like to share those things with anyone and what you have to remember, make note of what people say and also what they don’t say. Later on she mentions the critical items that M.r Right (if he’s out there) will need to pay close attention to if he wants this lady to be happy and vice versa :

I love all animals (especially my cat and two guinea pigs) and am very passionate about animal welfare. This is someone who is passionate about ‘animal welfare’. The Aquarian signature of supporting certain freedoms, in this case the freedom of animals to live happy lives. So, this would be a case of ‘love me, love my pets’. You would have to love this lady’s pets. Can you do that?

Having spent a number of paragraphs describing herself, she then describes her ‘ideal man’:“Ideally, I am looking to meet my ‘soulmate’ to share this journey of life with, someone who is open and honest with themselves and others and who is generous of heart and spirit, caring, kind and considerate (or who is open and aware and working towards these things). I am also looking forward to chatting with like-minded people who share similar interests and beliefs, people who are open and friendly and maybe just want to chat about life and the Universe.”

She has mentioned more than once that she enjoys ‘chatting’, so conversation is important to her and notice how she slips from describing her ideal man….to looking forward to ‘chatting with like-minded people’. Make a big mental note. This lady is not looking for a one-to-one, deep, personal, intense, snuggly, passionate, uplifting, exciting man, so if you’re Scorpio or Cancer or in fact any Water sign STAY AWAY!

She wants to be part of the group, the group that has ‘similar interests and beliefs’ the ideas and cerebral stuff is what she wants. She won’t want you mooning around, heart-broken because you haven’t seen her for a days, worried that because she’s out with her friends again, concerned that she hasn’t returned your calls.

Readers, have you ever dated an Aquarius, or do you have an Aquarian friend?  What do you notice about them?  Share it in the comment section. 

(P.S. If you like this post and want to join my email subscribers list, sign up in the box at the top right hand side of the front page. Subscriptions are free and we do not share your information with anyone.)

Enjoy book excerpts from the first book in this series, How to Survive a Pisces on Skywriter here:

Mary’s books are available on here: How to Survive a Pisces  and How to Bond with An Aquarius. They can also be ordered from the publisher, O Books here: How to Bond with An Aquarius: by Mary English – O-Books Publishing and here: How to Survive a Pisces: by Mary EnglishOBooks Publishing.

About the author:  Mary English was born in London and educated in Switzerland at the American International School of Zurich. She writes an Astrological column for the bi-monthly green parenting magazine ‘The Green Parent’ and appears monthly to ‘Do the Stars’ on the Emma Britton Morning Show on BBC Radio Somerset. Mary sees clients face-to-face and writes personal Birth Charts for visitors to her website. It was these consultations that inspired her to write about the Sun Signs to help her clients understand their motivations and learn about their Astrology profiles. Mary is a member of the Society of Authors and The Astrological Association of Great Britain. Find out more about Mary and her work here:  or write to her by email here


  1. This Aquarian is absolutely terrified of groups. They all feel like cults; although at the same time, she desperately wants to feel part of something bigger than herself that IS a group of like-minded people but NOT a cult; maybe a group of like-minded people who also don’t want to be part of a cult….oh dear, it just goes round and round. Thank God for Scorpio Rising who likes to jump in at this point and say, Honey,maybe you just need a little good sex and then you’ll be fine again….. hmm, I’ll think about that …and think….and think….and think…

    • What’s the worst thing you can say to an Aquarian?

      “You Aquarians are all alike.”

      And of course they’re not, depending on the whole chart–Moon, rising sign, aspects.

      In this case, you’d look at the 11th house–the house of groups–to see how they deal with them. I think there is a basic yearning to be part of a group of like-minded people as part of the Aquarius Sun, but for how it actually plays out, have a look at the 11th. Donna

    • Hi Judith…the groups that Aquarius feels ‘safe’ in (in the UK) tends to be the Quakers….they’re even called ‘The Friends’…they’re not a cult at all and hold meetings or groups…I even know another O-Books author who is one
      I don’t know her chart but I Do know she’s Aquarius…and a great author!! xx

  2. Donna,
    Good lead. The cusp of my 11th is in Libra. Only one planet in the 11th–Neptune, closely conjunct the cusp of H12 at 28 degrees.; tightly square to Uranus/Jupiter conjunction in Cancer H8and9; tightly trine Mercury in Gemini in H3. Looking at this, I see how the factors I consider “cult protectors” in any group are in play–clear communication channels; primary respect for rigorous intellectual handling of the pertinent issues of the group (staying on top of what is actually scientifically valid, intellectually sound etc.); willingness to step outside the box in pursuit of what is “true” no matter the cost to individual reputations etc; and goals that are in the service of humanitarian and justice needs of people; other sentient beings; and of the earth in general. Is that along the line of what you are thinking, Donna, in terms of an Aquarian considering her group affliiation inclinations? Although it fits, Neptune is probably more allied with H12, isn’t it? There are no planets in aspect to the H11 cusp. that I can see. Venus, the house ruler is in Capricorn in H2, tightly conjunct NN at 3 and 4 degrees. Love-based but practical groups–yeah, I like those. I admire many women’s church/synagogue/mosque etc. groups–dedicated women, well-informed, doing their charitable work without seeking applause, and having a good time at it.

    • Uranus in Cancer? I thought you were my age, Judith! You people never really grow old, do you? 🙂

      • Hi VR,
        That’s true. I feel like I’m getting younger by the day–wiser AND sillier at the same time! The true Fool!

    • Neptune in the 11th might, worst case scenario, be like you described…a sense of yearning to be part of it as something higher than oneself, subsuming oneself, and then feeling a victim of the group dynamics, and being disillusioned, to then want to avoid them. Donna

      • Point well taken, Donna….and accurate. Thank you.

  3. Oh I had so much fun reading this post! My husband and I have both venus in aquarius, (plus we met while uranus was in the neighborhood) and yes, we need lots of space. It can actually be a lovely, long time committed relationship, but it must be a CHOICE.

    I might add, there is another thing for sure while dating an aquarian woman (or with a healthy dose of uranus or Aq. in her chart): never ever, even slightly doubt her intelligence or suggest that women are less capable intellectually, or in any other field for that matter…you’ll pay for it, so pray she doesn’t have much pluto or scorpio in her chart 😉 Jokes about being silly, or spacey etc are fine, humor is always, always welcome! as long as there is an underlying respect.
    (just in case, I’m not saying this in a feminist way at all, but is something I’ve noticed it in Aquarian friends and myself over the years.)

    • Good observation, Sabrina! Well said!

    • Oh yes! Sabrina, you are SO right on! I have Sun/Moon/Venus all conjunct in Aquarius, and even just the slightest jab at my intelligence will offend me forever.

      Like you said, though, being teased as the absent-minded professor is fine. I wear that one with pride! But if my intelligence is actually insulted, that’s about the end of it. And I do have a healthy dose of Pluto AND Mars in my chart, and I have to admit that there have been a few bridges I have burned… or annihilated… because of it!

    • Tell it girl and I’m not an Aquarian! However I’ve got Uranus/Pluto conjunct my ascendent and Venus in Aquarius. 8th house Sun/Mars conjunct in Aries with Mars in aspect to that Uranus/Pluto conjunction. Yep, I won’t think twice about burning that bridge.

    • I wish I could have seeing you ladies burning those bridges!!! I’m a pisces but my mercury is in aquarius, and also venus in aq is square to and in mutual reception with uranus (plus pluto conj Asc, trining venus). So I’m relatively soft and happy letting the man be the man, as long as…

  4. This is a strange idea of Cults…to me, but my Aquarian girlfriend who is sitting next to me said: ” She needs to be part of a group of like minds , but NOT Cults where there is any form of control. She must feel free in any group.”
    For me , a Leo Sun in the 11th house and a Full Moon in Aquarius in exact trine to Uranus, this is strange, because groups have always looked to me for leadership and its been unexpected but I knew I could do it if I wanted to. I have not always been ready or wanted to.
    Sometimes one can be a leader of the group by example…living on a lonely Mt. top but visible to all.

    • Hi Barehand,
      Your Aquarian friend has hit the nail on the head. I struggled for a long time with the misapprehension within my relatively conservative profession of Medicine that I am some kind of rebel–or at least a rebel for the sake of being a rebel, which I was–briefly–at the developmentally appropriate age of mid-teens. If anything, I have been more of a “good” girl all these years, with respect to interfacing with powers that be. A few months ago, I resolved the identity dilemma. I am a “free-thinker” ; a “futuristic thinker”. I work with advanced theories regarding biological systems that are not yet part of mainstream medicine’s consciousness. No problem, right? Well, people don’t like that, no matter how polite, how evidence-based, cogent etc I am in my presentations. That’s okay. I understand now and I’m at peace with it. I respect the fact that my profession isn’t there yet; the “now” is exactly where they are at and that is as it is, in the process of consciousness evolution. BTW, my acronym for CULT is Cloistered Unit of Like-Minded Thinkers. Thank you very much for the reminder of my “free-thinker” identity Aquarian friend of Barehand!

      • LoL!!! I swear I didn’t read your comment before posting mine! 😛

    • Yes, it’s NOT about cults, the concept of groups is being mentally (not physically) connected.
      I have Mum and two sisters and ex-mother-in-law and my now sadly deceased Auntie who are Aquarians…and so I can safely say I’ve been surrounded by them all my life….and I’m a Pisces….so it took me a LONG time to understand their motivations…the Water signs do find it more hard, as Donna says further down, to ‘connect’ with Aquarius energy…it’s so light and cerebral….

  5. I feel compelled to add this comment. I know I have said it before on this blog but when I feel it at this level of intensity, I must say it again. I am so so grateful for the discovery of the extraordinary insight gained by studying Astrology. Without it, I don’t think I would have come through the past several years of crisis after crisis, more or less intact. Thank you Astrology and thank you to all the wonderful people out there in cyberspace who have the courage to be faithful to what Astrology has to offer. In the past nearly three years of learning about Astrology, I have gained so much from you, just like I am today.

    My seven year old son is home again today because of a longstanding bullying issue (he is the recipient) that reached a climax point on Monday. His father is furious with me for treating it as anything other than “normal rough-housing”. (He was punched in the face by the bully in the school play ground. I witnessed the incident.) A few moments on line, engaged in intelligent discourse, goes a long way in keeping this Aquarian Sun gal grounded. Thanks, folks!

  6. I love Aquarians and usually they love me back. I consider that an honour and a privilege.
    When it comes to friendship, they’re my cup of tea. I don’t want a friend to hold my hand or always be there for me, I’m not big on spilling my guts either, all I need from my friends is mental stimulation and a sense of adventure every once in a while. But I’ve never dated an A., they’re too detached for my taste, but if someone has, please do share!
    That said, I still haven’t come up with a conclusive theory for these folks -which is rarely the case with me. Detached intellectuals or raging fanatics? Mavericks or fools for the most current trendy herd? Fixed or unpredictable? Humanitarians or conservatives? Eccentric or childishly reactive? Saturn or Uranus? I have no idea!
    Though I’ve met all the aforementioned versions of them, this time around I’ll stick to my 3 favourite Aq. traits, shared by all the Aquarians I love.
    1) They’re about the truth, and nothing but the truth. They’re the most frank people you can ever meet. Some of the most insulting things I’ve ever heard in my life popped out from Aquarian mouths, but I welcomed each and every one of them with a loud laughter, coz I could sense that there was nothing behind their words, no agendas, no frustrations, no emotions whatsoever, just their frank, blunt, and usually just opinion. As a Virgo I envy that about them. And they expect that same honesty from others. They’ll never bear a grudge or act offended if you speak your mind. On the contrary, lie to them about sth important and you’re dead.
    2) They worship rationality. They’re not always smart (at least not in the sense of street smart or manoeuvring smart e.t.c.) but they’re always intelligent, intelligent, so intelligent, God its so refreshing to be around them!
    3) To me, the veritable Aquarians are never clownish or attention-seeking. Their eccenticities are like a wink to the world. They never care about looking different, and even when they’re a bit weird, they never think there’s something wrong with them, on the contrary, they usually think they’re totally normal and that there’s sth wrong with the world that is not like them. Maybe that’s why they try so desperately to change it.
    I really enjoyed this article, it stresses aspects of the sign that are sometimes underestimated in textbooks, mainly their fixity and their craving for belonging.
    Thanks, Donna. Regards, all. 🙂

    • VR,
      I am writing out what you have said here of the three things you love about your Aquarian friends and acquaintances and I’m going to post it on my fridge. It is so beautifully written, true, and sincere and best of all, it makes me laugh out loud!…Every time my ex gets in a dig via email, I’m going to walk over to my fridge and read it…again and again and laugh til my belly hurts while I work my way through this most recent crisis with my son.
      Thank you!

    • VR, your 3 favorite traits are so right on!

  7. As a Cancerian, I often misinterpret the much vaunted “friendliness” of Aquarians (and other Uranian types). You meet them–let’s say at an astrology conference–and it’s instant BFFs or seems to be so. You have this intense, exciting exchange of ideas, and they have this way of making you feel like you’re terribly important to them.

    So the Cancerian part of me says, “Thank God, this is one of my homies.” It seems like you were separated at birth but will never be separated again.

    WRONG! You are exciting to them only so long as you are interesting, and then it’s on to other intense, exciting exchanges with one like-minded soul after another. And you try to keep in touch, but all you get are group emails on social causes or the latest news about other dimensions. And you wonder, WTF???? What did I do wrong?

    You didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did the Aquarian. You were just a Cancerian being a Cancerian. And they were just an Aquarian being an Aquarian. And never the twain shall meet. Donna

    • Donna,
      I love it! Nobody is being “wrong”; we’re all just being who we are! Ain’t it the truth.

    • Often, in the past two years, in this phase of quite extreme social isolation, I feel like a pathetic puppy. I go around, mostly on line, mostly with astrologers, saying essentially, Hey, that’s a great idea! Wanna be my new BFF (for as long as the great ideas keep rolling in?). I still use your wise advice about having an early in the zodiac sign Venus, Donna. (Mine is 3 cap). “Friendly” is not the same as “friend”. I feel like a drooling idiot at times or at least like a three year old, saying that mantra over and over whenever someone in either the “real” or “virtual” world engages with me, but it has been a godsend. It has reduced my insertion of foot in mouth vis a vis excessive and over the top “let’s talk about that, like all night” kinds of responses by at least 50%. Instead I go to the park and talk to my entourage of dead people. Hey, I’m an Aquarian AND an ex-shrink. I get to look as crazy as I want and it’s all fuel for that bestseller yet to be written!

      • I do relate, Judith, with my early Gemini Venus. I moved 6 months ago to a high rise where I suddenly have 100 new neighbors. There are lots of community activities, and I work the rooms hard with my Gemini sextiles to my Leo Ascendant. I can DO charm, which is not the same at all as being charming. I’m becoming known as “that nice lady that smiles a lot.” I have one close friend here who used to live in my old apartment complex. Other than that, I don’t know if this lot will ever be any more than friendly neighbors, but I AM working on it. Donna

    • Wow, you nailed this one, Donna. Speaking as a (double) Capricorn, I’ve sooo often had that same experience, especiially in the local arts/art gallery/art council arena. No wonder.
      Seems that (as Cancer/Capricorns) we “mean what we say and say what we do”…only to realize later that these “AIRHEADS” were only working their Uranian soapbox.
      Remember when “airhead” was a buzz-word? Maybe THAT was the ‘dawning of the Age of Aquarius’?
      Okay, I may be prejudiced…my first husband was heavily Aquarian.

    • “And never the twain shall meet.”
      Are you saying this because of the quincunx?
      I don’t know about sets of quincunxed(?) signs in general, but as far as I’m concerned, my relationships with my quinc. signs have definitely been the most fascinating of my life. Aquarius and (especially) Aries speak to my heart. In them I find those aspects of my personality I’m most comfortable with.
      Aquarius: cerebral, rational, brainy, cool, progressive.
      Aries: enthusiastic, action-oriented, change-seeking, risk-taking, aggressively romantic, hmmm…benevolently bossy, childlishly braggart, one minute going ballistic- forgetting all about it the very next!
      Skywriter is the only cyber-community I’ve ever been part of. What amazes me is that, as in real life, here too the people I like the most have strong Virgo/Aquarius/Aries signatures in their charts.
      I’d love to know how other people feel about their quincunxes. Hopefully, one day you’ll post sth about it! Or maybe not… No pressure! 🙂

      • Maybe it’s time. I have plenty of written material on the quincunx, but at the time we were doing the aspects last summer, I had an article out in TMA, and that’s part of our more-than-fair agreement on reprint rights. Will put it in the queue. Donna

      • Ah! A “homie”! I’m a double Aries, Aq rising, Jupiter & Pluto in the 6th. 🙂

    • for some reasons I find aquarians to be very self-interested, esp. in romantic/ friendship mode.

      the problem definitely lies with my Cancer on cusp of 11th house, I expect very close bonding with my friends (which invariably brings the number down to less than fingers owned)

      I have venus in Aquarius conjunct Jupiter in Aquarius – house-V … boy, do I find them appealing = very much

      they are not really spaced out- I find them rather very sharp, to the point and very calculating. Their level of intelligence is extremely appealing and can be even daunting at times with their matter-of-fact approach.

  8. Okay, now I really am going to head out to the park with my dog and son and have a chat with my “dead people” friends. Don’t want to overdo my welcome on Donna’s blog. Thanks, everyone!

  9. Donna,
    (Well, I ALMOST got out the door–just two more thoughts and away I go). I used to cultivate the “eccentric” “maybe she’s a witch” persona in my little neighbourhood, as I desperately needed solitude as an antidote to a heavy duty inner city practice. I ” did “Charm–exactly as you said it–in other arenas. But now, it’s like they can smell “Needy” on me. I talk just a little too long; my laugh is just a little too high-pitched or forced; my enthusiasm just a little too over the top and bam! their eyes glaze over; their smile stiffens and I know it’s a bust. It’s quite funny actually….I have never been such a social klutz as I am these days…at least not since my geeky early teen years. I kind of have a new sense of affection for her. She was sooooo awkward.

    Second –and last, I swear it!–thought….or actually question. Has there ever been a blog on the different kinds of humour of different signs? Or on the kinds of humour shared by different signs? Like, how does a Virgo “do” humour; or a Leo; or, God help us, a Capricorn or Scorpio? I should have taken a look first at your archives before asking but I didn’t.
    Bye all.

    • Nope, not specifically signs and their humor (Mercury signs, or Jupiter signs, probably), but if you look under humor and creativity in the categories, you’ll find lots of humor. We did National Humor Month last April. Donna

  10. I have Aq rising and this describes me ever so well except, perhaps, “friendship as motivating factor”. I’d say I’m more into humanitarian issues.

    But, guess what? First I married a Scorpio, then a Cancer. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!

    • If it’s any comfort, Mary, I think it’s rather typical, warm types being attracted to cool types, and vice-versa. They see as a challenge: They’re gonna be the ones to turn us into drama queens, while we lay back and watch with an almost anthropological interest: “wow, did this just happened or was it just my imagination?” Plus deep down we enjoy their dramas (admit it!) they fill a void inside. Not for long, but they do.
      As for the outcome, weeell, your score speaks for itself 😉

      • LOL! Again, very insightful as well as humorous! I must be attracted to drama at some level, but at the conscious level it disgusts me. . .

  11. I’m gonna try to type this from my phone!

    Virgo sun and Aquarius moon =no desire to be physically part of any groups. But as others have noted, definite desire to be part of the collective, see the bigger picture. I am super emotional (moon) about humanity – stories on war, 9/11, suffering (human & animal) – really eats me up. would love to start and operate an animal shelter or charity some day!

    11th house ruled by Cancer with Saturn there at 29°55 retrograde opposing out of sign Aquarius moon on cusp of 6th.

  12. you cracked me up when you mentioned the young man trying to date an Aquarius has to provide transportation.
    My son was in that position without a car and was promptly dumped for another guy… with a car. She actually told him that was part of the reason she picked the other guy. I told him to stay away from Acquarius 🙂

    • lol!!! My bff is like that. She says stuff like: “I called X last night. God, he’s such a bore, but I didn’t have who to go to the movies with”. One time, she even attended a rock concert all by herself, -not having someone handy to go with her. Needless to say, she failed to grasp the weirdness of going to concerts alone! God, I love this girl!!!!!

      • Wait… going to rock concerts alone is weird? This Aquarian is guilty as charged. 😉

    • “She actually told him that was part of the reason she picked the other guy.”
      Of course she did! I’m sure she felt she was pretty convincing, too!
      Here’s a funny story, for your collection. My mom has an Aquarius Moon. When I was little, every time I got enraged (I have a Moon-Mars opposition) about my older sisters having more stuff than me, she’d look at me with her most naive look and say “I can’t (e.g.) buy this for you, and stop complaining, I don’t have to buy you anything, coz I didn’t want you, you were an accident”. No anger, no resentment, no frustration, no nothing, just a ‘stating the obvious’ attitude. I admit I found her argument pretty convincing. If not the argument, certainly that cool look on her face did the trick!
      I had to hit 20 to realise that in fact, it Wasn’t a reasonable argument, and, obviously, not the nicest thing to say to a child!! 🙂

      • 0h yes, that’s really harsh. Acquarian moon AND she had kids.. that’s chilling.

      • LoL!!!!
        Do you watch 2 1/2 Men? Charlie Sheen’s mom? That’s my mom! That type of woman! 😛

  13. I have Aquarian sun, ascendant, jupiter, mercury, venus, saturn and south node.

    What can I say? I don’t do groups. Can’t stand groups. Do enjoy talking to other artists.

    I’m a hermit, I work alone in my studio and am quite happy not to talk when my beloved comes home from work. Also I notice that if we are out gardening together, my version of together is me working on my bit of the garden doing my thing and him doing his thing – he wants us to do stuff together – this makes me grumpy and I have to give myself a stern reminder that he is not being unreasonable and if I want harmony rather than gribblys I need to put some effort into actually relating.

    Re your experience with aquarians Donna – I apologise, that’s me (not literally, of course) I meet someone on holiday have an intense conversation, I think we’re going to continue being friends but ….. it turns out that’s all there was. I have three or four very good friends and see them irregularly – the main factor is that they are all actively on their soul journey and are emotionally independent – same goes for my beloved, there is a strong soul connection between us, but he doesn’t need me.

    I’d say the soul factor is important due to sun/venus/saturn being in the 12th house. This probably also explains the hermit bit.

    Sagittarius on the 11th house cusp – and yes my best experience of groups has been where we are all studying or learning together at uni or art college.

    • Hi Jay! If you don’t mind my asking…are Sun and Saturn conjunct in your chart?
      The loaded 12th could explain the ‘not very talkative’ part, but the garden incident sounds very Capricornian to me. My sister has a Cap. Moon and she’s just as you described- you’d love to garden with her 🙂

      • Sun, Saturn and Venus are all within a degree of one another, plus I have Mars in 12th house in Capricorn – well spotted VR

        Jupiter and Mercury are conjunct the ascendant – so on my very occasional forays out into the world I suddenly can’t stop talking – very embarrassing!

  14. I have Moon in Aquarius and my Mars-Saturn conjunction trines Uranus (which may explain why I like James Bond movies, but that’s another story, LOL) and most of that article sounds like me.

    Thanks for posting it. 🙂

  15. Oh VR, what a horrible thing for your mother to say to you! You seem to have dealt with it very well, considering. My mother was a Sun/Moon Aqua. There definitely is a special coldness to the Aqua Moon! I think it’s been called “robotic” …

    Jay, I’m a total hermit, too — Sun in the 12th. I love my solitude! I have a couple of close friends but they don’t even live in the same city as me. Soon after I moved, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and now it just seems to take too much energy to go out and socialize. I do sometimes wish I had friends nearby, but not enough to make the effort to go out and meet people. 😉

    I have Ven/Merc in the 11th but I’ve never liked groups; I always feel overwhelmed, uneasy and like an oddball. (My Sun is conjunct Chiron, which exacerbates the feeling of alienation I think.)

    Debbie Kempton-Smith wrote that you could make an enemy of an Aqua by insisting that they phone you a dozen times a day to inform you of their every movement. So true!! Unfortunately, my husband sometimes does this and it drives me crazy! On the upside, he’s an Aries and usually busy with his own activities. And he never questions my eccentricities, except maybe my “unique” fashion sense. 😉

    Oh, back to my Aqua Sun/Moon mother — I often say that my Cancer Moon husband is the mother I never had. 😉 His Cancer energies can feel smothering at times, though.

    Finally, I think the worst thing you can tell an Aqua is not “you Aquarians are all alike” — which to me is like a compliment — but rather, “oh, everybody thinks that,” or “oh, everybody does that.” 😉

  16. Very interesting post. I especially like the analysis of the Aquarian woman’s dating profile.

    I was friends with an Aquarian woman for 7 years. We met in college. She said her first impression of me eating goldfish crackers in class was that I was “weird”. We hung out after class one day and were best friends (in her mind) a couple of days later. We synched our class schedules and hung out at her home after class (she was quite persuasive) as well as attending different events together. I think her main reason for liking me was that I had a car and she didn’t. But she knew how to cook and I didn’t, so it was a fair trade. Food for gas $. She was in a relationship for the majority of our friendship, so I think she lived vicariously through my free dating style.

    Our friendship ended when I got tired of her snarky comments and my mom pointed out to me how she was jealous. She has Sun, Moon, Mercury and Venus in Aquarius and Mars in Cancer. I think our Sun-Mars conjunction became competitive. She would show off her family life and get angry when I didn’t ooh and ahh over it. At that time, I didn’t want what she wanted: a comfortable, predictable home life. I have Venus and Mars in Gemini and Sun+Moon+Mercury+Venus+MC aspects Uranus. I was still out there experimenting and running from commitment. My last straw with her was when she tried to steal my friends and kept showing up at events that she wasn’t invited to because I was avoiding her. I’m the one with the Moon in Scorpio yet she was stalking me.

    It took me a long time after her for me to become intimate with an Aquarius again.
    Fast forward a few years later and I began dating an Aquarius. Again, he was drawn to me dancing alone at a party as someone who was “strange”. The same thing happened with him. After our 2nd date, we were in a relationship. He became very possessive and would get angry at me if I wanted time to myself. And he immediately tried to mesh me into his group of friends yet he didn’t like being around my friends (unless his friends came, too). He would invite his friends on some of our dates or insist that I come with him to parties when I didn’t want to. One thing I have noticed about Aquarians is that they do not really enjoy being alone for long periods of time unless they’re engrossed in a creative project. And they’re attracted to people who don’t want commitment. I think it’s a safeguard for them to know that someone won’t be invading *their* space.

    • Jara, i dont know how,.. but, i think ‘jeallous’ and ‘possessive’, stalker etc.. doesnt sound like an aquarius. This sounds strange to me.

      I think could be more of leo, scorpio, or even mars in cancer,..???
      this part of jeallousy and so on..

      I have sun, mercury, mars, DC in aquarius.. and sun, moon, mercury, mars and AC square in uranus..
      I have respect for other peoples ‘area’, specially when they are friends. And i have few people in friends and family who are ‘strong’ aquarius too, they has the same thing,..I think this person would have some possessive aspects or something, pluto…

      But very interesting reading from Donna, btw..;D

      • Jealous, possessive, and stalker have nothing to do with Aquarius. EXCEPT if the Aquarius planet (Mars or Venus, perhaps) is aspected by Pluto or by something major in Scorpio, usually in a relationship house (7th, Venus or Mars, the Descendant, the 8th, or maybe the 5th). Those are worst case Pluto/Scorpio notions of true love. Donna

  17. Just remembered that a couple of my other close contacts are with people who have Venus or Mars in Aquarius or Uranus/Aquarius in the 7th. I must be attracted to weirdos or I’m the weirdo that makes them feel normal. 🙂

  18. Notice how this ‘ void of course’ moon is especially LONG?

  19. Colleen, thanks for that insight “There definitely is a special coldness to the Aqua Moon! I think it’s been called “robotic” …”

    My mother had a close conjunction of an Aquarius Moon and Mars and both were in close opposition to a Leo Neptune. She was the angry robot who played the martyr card to be the center of attention.

    • True, Nett! When an Aqua Moon feels trapped in his/her life, you don’t wanna be around!!
      And I don’t think it has to do with aspects. My mom has moon cj. jupiter opp. Pluto, regardless, this description is accurate to a T. She disregards other people’s feelings, is Very uncomfortable with her own sincere feelings, and, for the rest part, she puts forward this fake sentimentality, and does nothing but talk about this so-called feelings of hers till we all drop dead: “I’m pissed, I’m tired, I’m depressed, I’m nervous, they used me, they’ve done my wrong”. My allergic to drama Aqua dad shakes his head when she gets like that. I tell her “I don’t bug you with my feelings, don’t bug me with yours”. That usually shuts her up.
      But, I must admit, she is a better mother now that we are adults, more at ease with herself and with motherhood than when we were kids. And she’s very likable- you can’t not like my mother, she’s fun!!
      Of course there’s always a distance between us which she respects, coz she knows she screwed up even though we never talk about it. I appreciate that. First time I saw her chart, I smiled at her aqua moon: “don’t talk to me like we’re girlfriends” is one of the usual scorns I use to tell her off.
      Sometimes I wonder, had I not been raised by Aquas, would I be a different person, warmer, or more comfortable with emotional explicitness? I don’t know!
      One thing I do know though: I wouldn’t trade my free spirit and sense of independence for home-made cookies, bedtime stories and a shoulder to cry on. I wouldn’t consider it a fair bargain!

      • Hi VR – hope you don’t mind me butting in – but it sounds like the Pluto opposition to your mum’s moon was a huge influence on how she related. I am going through Pluto opposite progressed moon and boy will I be glad when it is over – it has stirred up huge emotional intensity, feelings of betrayal and very hard to get out of my stuff to be sensitive to what others are going through.

        The opposition is always such a challenge, so hard not to project stuff onto others even when you know better. Natally my moon is conjunct Pluto and that is so much easier to handle – in Virgo though not Aquarius.

      • Not at all, Jay, your feedback is always welcome! (Aquarius sun- Virgo moon, c’mon, if you didn’t exist I’d have to invent you) 🙂
        I agree with you, in my experience, oppositions are much bigger a deal than conjunctions. And you’re right, my mother’s opposition is a big part of who she is.
        As for straight Aquarius Moons… I don’t know! Nett’s comment rang so many bells, plus I used to have a friend with an Aq. Moon (no hard aspects), who had these erratic outbursts of anger that she always lived to regret (Libra Sun).
        That said, I think I’m gonna take your word for this one. After all, you’re an Aquarius and I’m not 😉

      • VR & jay,

        i’m a virgo sun with aquarius moon (moon in 8-degree orb opposition to saturn in cancer, and also quincunx virgo ascendant exact, trine libra pluto almost exact and sextile sag neptune within 1 degree). i admit, i am a cold-fish in some respects and also have had a major temper at times – often about really stupid stuff, come to think of it – and usually centered around feeling “left out” or excluded by friends or family (kind of an aquarius thing, perhaps?).

        i sometimes feel like a robot in the emotions department, but also have dealt with depression off and on for years. i dunno. definitely not any sort of drama queen with any regularity, but i can get irrational like nobody’s business.

        that said, most of my stuff is very internalized, but i can say that friends and family know very clearly from my eyes and silence when i’m in a funk and to leave me alone!!

      • Hi erin!
        You said:” feeling “left out” or excluded by friends or family”
        I think you nailed this one! At least as far as my mom is concerned!
        Growing up, two were the biggest problems in my family:
        a) Mom being crazy (Pluto) in love with dad (Mom: Aquarius Moon+Jupiter, Dad: Aquarius Sun/ Mercury/ Venus)
        b) Mom feeling tied down and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising children, jealous (Pluto) she couldn’t stray too like/with Dad.
        Now that she’s finally gotten rid of us, problem solved, I guess!!
        Anyway, I’d need to write a book to describe in full my mom’s personality-what can I say, the woman has a range!- but one thing is for sure, things were never boring in my place!!
        I always tell my friends: “Be jealous, be jealous, be jealous, I’ve got the coolest, weirdest and most delightful parents of all!”
        In truth, sometimes I’d rather hung out with my parents than (some of) my friends! They’re so much fun!
        P.S. Moon-Saturn huh? That would explain your periods of depression. AND your scolding me for not being willing to prepare for disasters! (joke) 🙂

      • hey VR,

        i’ve been reading comments on this thread off and on during the day at work, but it’s such a chore to reply from phone so i waited til i was on my laptop. i wanted to tell you a couple things:

        1) i’ve been reading donna’s posts on her site only since last summer and i’ve always enjoyed your commentary over the months!

        2) your top 3 aquarius traits up, up above in comments here are really good and i find those traits in MY fave aquarius people, too – including a very dear longtime friend whose aquarian sun is conjunct my moon within a couple degrees. that girl always follows her truth, is very strong-willed, talks of FREEDOM pretty regularly, and she really knows herself. her mercury & venus are also in aquarius.

        3) i identify very much with TRUTH. i get myself in trouble at times offending people (unintentionally!) because i forget to round the edges of my words in situations where that would go a long way in preventing miscommunications. mercury and uranus are in wide conjunction, uranus and saturn are almost exact square, and uranus (at 0 degrees scorpio) sits smackdab on the cusp of my 3rd. the worst place i struggle is in my work environment and, in fact, i have been “schooled” a few times since i started my new job in january! it’s been extra challenging with saturn hovering near my libra mercury for months!! argh…

        anyway, i’m digressing big time. damn, i am LOVING the comments on this post! (thanks to donna and guest blogger, mary english!!!)

      • 😛

  20. …top tip…if you want to bond with an Aquarius on a forum or on-line space , the best way is to say to them ‘How Interesting’ to something they have written…things must be interesting to Aquarius first …and give a little ‘ah ha’ spark to their thinking….xxx

    Thank you for all your valuable input, I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts….and a BIG THANK YOU to Donna for holding such a beautiful and friendly on-line space..

  21. Mary, thanks for the article. Your word ‘gestalt’ combined with Aquarius especially piqued my interest and review. Great contributions, All.

    I grew up in a home with two Aquarius Sun parents who impressed me as a committed team, first, and two very distinctive individuals, a close second. Was ‘doing your own thing’ a significant part of their life together? Yes, wholeheartedly and well – and I suspect their Leo creativity on display is what they admired and loved about each other.

    Now, was their parenting style more about communication and problem-solving than hugs and kisses? Yes, and I happened to tolerate this pretty well, being of Uranus in Cancer vintage with an Aquarius Moon.

    I offer fellowship, social perspective, and acknowldgement to the Aquarius tag cloud, and the range of being different to indifferent. The courage to think differently (indifferent to the accepted status quo, that is) can be an asset, while being indifferent to the ‘status quo’ of other individuals can be a liability.

    • pdw, what Sun sign are you? How did having Aquarian parents influence your sense of freedom?

      • I have a Virgo Sun, and, let’s see, my sense of freedom… I’d say I pretty much felt free to become whatever I wanted to become because of my parents. They were patient cheerleaders-in-waiting in my case. 😉

    • “I offer fellowship, social perspective, and acknowldgement to the Aquarius tag cloud, and the range of being different to indifferent. The courage to think differently (indifferent to the accepted status quo, that is) can be an asset, while being indifferent to the ‘status quo’ of other individuals can be a liability.”

      – spot on, pdw!! from a fellow virgo sun/aquarius moon. 🙂

      • Thanks for the shout out, Blend Twin!

        Moon 1st – Sun 8th here – et tu?

    • Hi guys! I have a Virgo sun, an Aquarius South Node, some very interesting Uranus aspects, and two pretty aquarian parents.
      Though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll see me tied up on an oil tanker protesting against environmental pollution anytime soon, I too attest to this summary.
      Especially this part:
      “the range of being different to indifferent. The courage to think differently (indifferent to the accepted status quo, that is) can be an asset, while being indifferent to the ‘status quo’ of other individuals can be a liability.”
      I couldn’t have put it in better words!
      Thanks, pdw 🙂

      • Appreciate the feedback, Fellow Virgo Sun–Thanks! Glad to hear I made a little contribution.

    • Pdw, about the ‘courage to think differently’ bit. Jay’s comment above about how she didlikes groups made me reevaluate Virgo’s contribution to this blend, namely their no-nonsense attitude, their penchant for genuineness and courage to stand alone, all valuable counteracts to Aquarian dislike of change and craving for fellowship (things to which their tremendous ability for rational processing succumbs, sometimes)
      Maybe I’ll leave a reply under Jay’s input later in the day, explaining how I outgrew my SN shortcomings sometime after my mid 20’s. If so, check it out! 😉

      • I was never much of a group person myself – until I became a group leader. I don’t know if that speaks to an Aquarius 1st House need to be ‘special’ or a Virgoan 8th House need to be valued. Either way, I learned a great deal about myself and enjoyed this group association for many years.

        For Jay, with five planets in Aquarius, the placement and contacts Uranus makes might be an important factor.

      • I too enjoy being the leader, pdw, but I couldn’t help you with the astrology: I have a loaded 1st and a strong Pluto emphasis in my chart that I carefully conceal.
        One thing I can say though. If there’s a Virgo out there who doesn’t have a huge ego (and hasn’t been struggling all his life to swallow it!), I’ve never met him. Ergo the modesty/ calm confidence (put more precisely), I think.
        I believe this stands true even with the more judgmental/ bitter/ whinning/ underachieving types of our sign: They walk through life with a sense of entitlement to belittle the ones in charge, like they’ve been deprived of sth that was rightfully theirs.
        As for Jay, with Saturn in Aquarius, her Uranus must probably be in Virgo, there along with her Moon and Pluto.
        Regards 🙂

    • pdw,

      my virgo sun is in the 1st house, aquarius moon within 2 degrees of 6th house cusp so i guess 6th house moon, though i’d prefer to think i’m 5th house moon. 😀

  22. I have a couple of female Aquarian friends. What I’ve noticed about them is a detachment that I’ve hardly seen in any other sign. I enjoy their company, and they tell some fascinating stories (from what I’ve seen Aquarians have unusual life experiences!) What I’ve seen, based on my experience, is that they’re not too demonstrative emotionally (unless the moon or ascendant is in a fire sign). I hope I’m not generalizing too much.

  23. Hello Everyone,
    I have just returned from a five hour wandering in the seaside park near my house with a gift that I would love to share. I have been writing a musical entitled Queen! The Return of the Witch. It is a sequel to the Narnia series written by C.S. Lewis. Lewis’s god is very masculine, very Saturnian. My play is about the re-integration of the feminine principle of creation/divinity–a kind of optimistic, Armageddon-free take on the evolution of consciousness from the perspective of internalized Christ consciousness.
    Most of the play is completed. The songs are all songs already recorded by young North American female singer/songwriters like Jewel, Nelly Furtado, and Indie Arie.

    In my play the four Pevensie siblings, now in their 70s and 80s, return to Narnia for the fulfillment of the Final Prophecy of the Deep Magic.

    Today, I “got” the final prophecy. Here it is:

    When Adam’s flesh and Adam’s bone;
    Return, at last, to claim their thrones;
    The reign begins, in three days hence
    Of Beauty, Truth, and Innocence.

    A Queen shall rise from frozen ground;
    Her spirit freed; Her will unbound;
    To rule in peace forever more;
    For Aslan lives within her core.

    Majestic Union–Hear their roar
    From sea to sky;
    From shore to shore.

    I am in a state of ecstatic delight after a dark night of the soul. Life is extraordinary, is it not?

    Sun in Aquarius, conjunct Mercury in Aquarius, third house.

    • How exciting, Judith, it sounds like a creative Eureka! for you. Nothing wrong with hearing about good things like that in the world. 😉

      • Thank you, pdw. It was definitely a constellating moment.

  24. VR, you are so on target “When an Aqua Moon feels trapped in his/her life, you don’t wanna be around!!”. My Mom convinced herself she could not leave an abusive, alcoholic marriage until most of her parentified children left home.

  25. oops! on a couple of my responses i forgot to log out of my wordpress moniker (which is “jobfull”), but that’s me.

  26. After reading others’ comments, I’ve been spending some time contemplating my life as a parent with an Aquarian Sun. I’m not quite sure where to stick this entry that would put me in flow with the ongoing conversation, so I thought I would just add it on.

    Definitely not the “ordinary” mom.
    Style: Daughter: Mom, you’ve got your pants bottoms stuffed in your socks again!
    Mom: I like it like that. Daughter: I’m not going out in public with you if you don’t fix your pants! Gawd!
    Response to authority: 1.(I pulled my daughter out of Grade 7 because she was being bullied. Only one teacher was brave enough to stand up and agree with me)
    Mom: Okay, honey, I think you need chill time for the next few months after all that nasty stuff. We’re supposed to submit marks in June for all the home-study work you’ll have done by then. What mark do you want for Math? 82? Okay, that sounds fine. Remind me to send this form in at the end of June.
    2. When he was in Grade 2, my Virgo sun son found himself irresistably compelled to pull a fire alarm at school. Three hours later, after everyone was settled back in the school and the fire engines had left, I met with the principal. She was visibly shocked at my somewhat gleeful countenance. I finally blurted out an apology, saying, I am so sorry, I wish I could get mad for your sake,but my son has finally done something BAD and I am just so relieved!
    Marching to a Different Drummer/part of activists’ groups: My son attended his first Take Back the Night march at the ripe old age of 6 days. My daughter’s favourite song, as she toddled around the house was Yes means Yes and No means No and often, she would get the yes’s and no’s mixed up. Both children would often ask at breakfast: Any meetings tonight, Mom? What’s happening in the world?
    I remember watching with pain and admiration, my Sag. daughter sitting around in the schoolyard with a group of other grade 2 girls who were chatting about this and that and she piped up, in her natural stage voice, Hey, what do you guys think about the Middle East situation? (Ouch! The acorn doesn’ t fall far from the tree!)

    My daughter has never really gotten over being embarrassed by my unorthodox ways–and she is absolutely thrilled to have a stepmother who loves malls as much as she does!–but often she snuggles up (even at 25 years of age) and tells me how much she loves me, because I just let her be her and I never judge her. And if that doesn’t make it all worth while, I don’t know what does!

    • I have the Sun with Mars and Uranus (but not in Aquarius) my kids never know what to expect from me.

      When my daughter was in second grade, one of the other girls kept commenting on how skinny she was. She a slow fuse, and it takes her a while to get angry. When the teacher called me that my daughter had slapped this girl, I told her that although this was unacceptable behavior, that I understood how she felt. She had expected me to punish her. I then explained to the teacher that my daughter is not a violent person and that this other girl must have pushed her buttons one too many times. The teacher, surprisingly, understood. (When my daughter got older I enrolled her in martial arts so the bullies would sense that she was someone not to mess with. It was the best thing for her).

      My kids find me a bit strange, and there have been many times I’ve shocked them, on the other hand they will confide things to me that they won’t tell my husband, because they sense I’ve done it all. The one thing that drives them totally nuts is my involvement with the Balkan music scene, this is something they keep mum from their friends, along with mom’s other eccentricities. So, Judith, I understand where you’re coming from 🙂

      • Katley,
        Do you ever feel sad that your children find you strange in some ways? As much as I feel close to my (older) children and know that they know I’m always there for them, sometimes it hurts to be so odd in their eyes.

      • Hey Judith!
        Here’s Pink’s new single, “Perfect”:

        To all you oddballs out there, wherever you are!
        (Dare I say “with love”, or is the L world to much for an Aqua to handle on a perfect April afternoon? 🙂 )

    • Oh,Judith, I’m jealous! I’d love it if my parents Looked quirky, too. Their sense of style was defined by their sun/venus conjunctions.
      And the bullying incident, that’s how my mom would have handled it. Being a Libra sun/part of a stellium, she’d probably add: “Oh, don’t cry, silly, tomorrow we’ll go to the mall and I’ll buy you a Barbie”.
      I, too -like your kids- was precocious. You can’t avoid becoming precocious when raised in an Aquarius household. These folks appreciate wittiness like nobody’s business! Comments that would make other parents send their kids to their rooms are welcomed by aquas with a glow of admiration in their faces! Back home, I was the boss! I did as I pleased, and they’d let me get away with it. I was their wonderchild. Needless to say that- with that attitude- it took me some time to adjust to the real world!!! School was such a shock to me initially, my regal privileges going out the window and all!
      Sometimes I think that it takes an Aqua to become a Virgo: If my parents didn’t find feelings such an embarassment, and didn’t ignore them like an ugly elephant in the room, maybe I wouldn’t have developped this attitude towards them, like they’re sth shameful that makes people look weak and thus needs to be suppressed, but, nah! I would have found my way into my precious Virgo composure anyway!

  27. Hi Judith,
    My Mum is an Aquarius (I mention her in my book)..and one thing that I realised when I left home, was she ‘allowed’ us all TONS of independence. She was eager for us to leave home….and we all left home early…but she just wasn’t upset…if she’d been a water-sign Mum (and I’m Pisces) she would have been weeping at getting an empty nest..I discuss and show examples in my book of all the different combinations, Mum/Dad/Child/Boss/Sibling…and how to date and help an Aquarius feel better and also (depending on what sign you are) how to get along with them better…..I loved your story about your son!! ….a constant criticism with Aquarius is they are un-feeling, that’s not true, it’s just a different emphasis, if we were all the same life would be VERY boring…!! In Peace Mary xx

    • Hi Mary,
      I guess it’s like Donna said at the beginning. We are each so unique, based on the various combinations of signs and planets. I have such passion for my children at the level of life and death (Scorpio rising?) while at the same time, it feels like that passion in a way causes pain to my Aquarian sun sensibilities. I see them as interesting creatures quite separate from myself in one moment and the next, if I let myself go, it almost feels like my heart could burst from the pain of loving someone that much. My son is currently in Bangladesh,finishing up his final undergrad year in international development. I can hardly bear it that he is so far away, on one hand (and he’s been globetrotting since he was 16–went off to France for Grade 11) and then I can go several days without giving him a thought. It’s so weird being me…….

      • Funny thing just happened on the way to revisiting my Uranus score (43). I caught Donna’s comment about high scorers in both Uranus and Pluto (60 something)–how it is a set up for a lot of inner conflict. THAT’s exactly the dynamic I just described–flipping back and forth between my intense passion ( and I mean mamma bear passion, not sentiment) for my children one moment and the next, I feel as separate from them as if they were from another planet.

  28. Like some of you, I had two Aqua parents. Both my parents also had Scorpio rising.

    My mother was a Sun/Moon/Venus Aquarius. It’s interesting to see all the comments about Aqua mothers allowing lots of freedom. That fits with Uranus. But my mother was very much a Saturn Aquarian. (I have Saturn conj Moon) We were kept on pretty short leashes as kids. There were strict rules to be followed.

    Nothing would have made Mom happier than if I’d married younger and had kids (I didn’t). When I got into animal rights, she thought it was a bit weird. She was a Catholic, anti-choice and, like old-school psychiatrists, she thought homosexuality was a mental illness (she died in 1995, long before her only grandson became a teenager and came out … would have been interesting to see her reaction). The best way to bond with this Aquarian woman would have been through a group of like-minded people, and to talk about substantive things — interesting people, current events, politics, etc. No silly chit-chat.

    As for expressing emotion, she was “emotive” and would rage, or clutch us in a death-like vise grip of a hug (owing to that Scorpio Asc I think), but I don’t think I ever saw her cry and she was just sort of “blank” when it came to showing deep feelings or empathy. So part of it was the Aqua Moon and part the Scorp Asc.

    My dad was a Uranian Aquarius (I have Sun opp Uranus). With Jupiter conj. his sun, he had a strong Sadge influence, so his need for freedom was great. He had a public affair and wanted to keep his girlfriend and still stay married. (Needless to say, my mother balked and finally divorced him.) He was a psychoanalyst who dabbled in astrology and parapsychology, did drugs, believed in telepathy and was open to the idea of reincarnation, etc. He had a few wives, two of them from foreign countries. He seemed to feel his kids were amusing friends at best and at worst, disappointing, ungrateful strangers. Having a Cancer Moon didn’t help much when it came to showing his feelings, thanks to that Scorp Asc and a Moon/Pluto conj.

    • Boy can I relate to what you’re saying! 🙂
      Here’s the thing:
      I was raised in an ambience of complete freedom. However, my older sisters claim that, while They were growing up, my parents were strict disciplinarians, especially my mother. When asked about this authoritarian side of hers, my mother says that in her family of origin, things were pretty chaotic, so she vowed that when she’d start her own family, she’d bring some order to the chaos. (btw, I’m sticking to my ‘she doesn’t like kids’ theory)
      Ultimately, this spirit of independence we ACAs (Adult Children of Aquarians) are referring to has little to do with the amount of freedom granted to the child. Being raised by Aquarians is the next best thing to being raised by wolves! These folks are unable to provide things like nurturing, emotional security, taking care of you etc. They never have your back- or so it feels, you’re usually the last thing on their minds. Thus, you learn from a very tender age to take care of yourself, fight your own fights, use your own mind, be your own person.
      Uranus or Saturn? I dunno, I could make the case for both. They always cared about things like prestige and how we look to society. In a sense they’re very grounded/practical, dislike risks, like to play it safe. Amassing assets has always been their hobby. All very saturnine traits. But just when you’re about to label them greedy conservatives suffocating you with their fearful groundedness and be done with them… Uranus makes yet another loud entrance!
      P.S. I loved this phrase about your dad: ” He seemed to feel his kids were amusing friends”. That’s my dad, too! (Not literally, but, the way you describe your dad’s love life, one can only hope!!)
      My dad, he’s the most civilised man I’ve ever met. In my entire life I’ve seen angry no more than 4 or 5 times. Interestingly, when he does get angry, he too gets into this “disappointing, ungrateful strangers” funk that you described. I wonder what’s with that!!! Aquarians, any thoughts?

  29. oy! my mother has an Aquarius moon too!!
    I never thought she was cool, more like turbulent and tempermental with that moon forming a T square to Mars in Leo and Venus in Scorpio. oh that’s a grand cross, with Chiron in Taurus.. wow. My poor mother.
    That’s a big whammy on a poor innocent Capricorn lady.

    someone should write a book about her.

  30. I’m enjoying this thread So much! Thank you all for your contributions!

    Gosh, I have so many things to say, I don’t know where to start!

    In the meantime, kind request:
    Could the Aquarians step up and walk us through the Saturn-Uranus dilemma? What brings this two aquarian versions together? What do they have in common? And how do you get from one edge of the spectrum to the other?

    • I’m loving this thread too! Really appreciate the great comments.

      I think probably all Aquarians display both rulers at times — which one is most prominent in a certain situation depends on the aspects and signs of all their planets, as well as their progressed planets. (This would apply to Aries and Pisces too, although it may not not be so obvious … I’m not sure.)

      For example, even though my mother was more Saturnine in general, at times she was definitely the “unique” character. At the age of 50 or so, she decided to take up tap dancing, even though she was lousy at it. She didn’t like the looks of her shoes, so she spray-painted them silver and glued glitter all over them. Definitely the Uranian influence in her Aqua Venus!

      I lean much more toward the Uranian side, probably because of my Sun/Ur opp; my lifestyle is very unusual, I married outside my race (a bigger deal back then than now), I’ve taken up some controversial causes, etc.

      But when it comes to marriage, I tend to be rather conservative and Saturnine, taking my responsibility very seriously, as befits a Cap Venus and Sat/Moon conj. And even though I’m also Aqua rising, I dress quite conservatively (Cap Venus again), although when I was young and my prog. Sun was still in Aqua, I was more unconventional. 😉

    • I navigate the Saturn-Uranus dilemma via the concept of evolution (an evolution itself via Charles Darwin’s Aquarius Sun-Capricorn Moon), which is to say Ive moved on. 🙂 I am aware of Saturn’s historical significance in the progression of the Aquarius signature; however, in practice, I rarely feel the need for Saturn in Aquarius interpretation.

  31. The Saturn – Uranus thread huh? My take on this is to separate Aquarius the sign from Uranus the planet. Aquarius likes the non-conformity and shake-em-up qualities of Uranus – but it is a fixed sign – it likes to follow things through – Uranus may trigger great changes that lead to better conditions for all of us, but it is unpredictable and can also be destabilizing and Aquarius gets attached to its causes and wants to bring the improvements to completion.

    Uranus is more fiery – lightning bolt – than Aquarius – cool airy – and more unstable. My feeling is Saturn’s rulership shows up in Aquarius’s fixed nature. Also if we accept Saturn is a call to maturity then being our unique selves in a culture that promotes conformity does require a certain level of maturity – I have known so many people whose central struggle in life was to dare to be themselves and were unable to do so for fear of disapproval or abandonment by family and friends.

    ps VR – my Uranus is in last degree of Leo and is one of the least aspected planets in my charts –

    pps. I’m not a parent and at 49 am unlikely to be so – my dealings with children come as a secondary school teacher (jupiter/mercury conjunct asc in aquarius) which I loved and I was good at it – able to be inspirational, embrace the kids as they were, give choices and be friendly and yet strict at the same time (saturn coming in there). Didn’t become an artist hermit till my late thirties – must look back and see what transit triggered that evolution.

  32. In my natal chart, Saturn is one degree conjunct my Scorpio ascendant; and less than 1 degree square my Aquarian sun in H3. As I already mentioned, I was a “good” girl; I worked hard in school, was respectful of my teachers, followed the rules, thrived on routine, loved to study but I just seemed to think differently. It wasn’t until I hit medical school that it really became obvious I was dancing to a different beat. I would sometimes burst out laughing in a lecture, assuming the professor’s comment was a joke, only to find I was the only one laughing and the comment was serious.
    In psychiatry residency, I refused to accept drug company perks, including the brown bag lunches that accompanied guest lecturers. I never made a fuss about it. Just brought my own brown bag lunch from home. I was seen as a out there radical! For what? It seemed absolutely rational that the pharmaceutical companies aren’t handing out food to doctors out of the goodness of their heart. And I didn’t really think much at all about the fact that EVERY other resident ate drug company food. I was just being true to myself; as I assumed everyone else was too.
    I dressed conservatively, looked “normal” , but as soon as I opened my mouth…….
    My fellow residents would comment that they perked up in rounds whenever I started to talk because they knew it was going to be something “different”; that I looked at things in a way that would never have occurred to them. You could say I was pretty entertaining and yet my intention and demeanour would be completely serious. Is that Saturn and Uranus in action? (BTW Saturn and Uranus are trine by 4 degrees.)

  33. Just musing in the shower about how the question: ‘How to bond with an Aquarian’ is something of an oxymoron – aquarians don’t bond. Anyone coming near me showing signs of velcro will be met with a smooth shiny surface! Think more of Kahil Gibran and Rilke when they talk of two trees who do not in each other’s shade grow and two solitudes greeting each other. Aquarians don’t bond they just hang out in the same space.

    More notes on Saturn and Uranus joint rulership – wondering if their differences can be at the root of a certain high strung quality to aquarians ie there is a really quirky, wild, shake-em-up person desperate to express themselves being restrained by a steel mask of caution and reserve. What do other aquarians think? Of course it could simply be my own saturn/sun/venus conjunction in the 12th house manifesting.

    One thing I would say is I feel Aquarians and Uranians are distinctly different. Perhaps some of those high scoring Uranians could speak out – if they’ve followed the blog this far, expect they’ve moved on to something else by now!

    • Jay when you say “Uranians,” are you talking about *anybody* who has a strong Uranus? In that case, I definitely agree, there is a definite difference such people and Aquarians.

      On the surface, “Uranians” might have some Aquarius-like qualities, but that’s about it. My brother is “Uranian” in that his Leo Sun is conjunct Uranus, but he’s most definitely a Leo. He is extremely high-strung, but not particularly unconventional or independent, etc. And he’s just about the warmest person you could meet — unlike we Aquarians, who are a bit more detached or aloof. (I won’t go into opposite signs expressing their shadows here! 😉 )

      Likewise, my husband has Uranus conj his Cancer Asc, but he’s still an Aries, only with a somewhat quirky approach to new situations, usually entering a room with some kind of provocative comment.

      As for the quirky Uranus part of Aquarians being restrained by Saturn … I think that’s only when Saturn is stronger in the chart. With your Sat/Sun conjunction I can easily see how you’d feel that “mask of caution and reserve” (great phrase) restricts your more quirky self-expression.

    • Here’s my 2 cents:
      1) Aquas love hanging out. Straying is what they do best. They appreciate company, any company. e.g. My dad would quite often go buy a newspaper before lunch was served. On his way to the grocery’s he’d meet someone who’d invite him somewhere and then end up someplace else… Long story short, some time after midnight, just before declaring him missing, the door would open and there would be dad, last day’s paper under his arm, an innocent, friendly, indifferent, tired look on his face: “Hey, what’s up?” My mom would go ballistic! Though this scene took place a million times in my place, dad would never see hell coming! Always that look on his face! Always that “hey, what’s up”! And always the paper under his arm!
      2) While they enjoy good company (or maybe they enjoy listening to themselves talking more? My dad enjoys so much having people hanging on his lips! He is perfectly aware of his charm, there’s this condescending, benevolent superiority in his face which people usually confuse with friendliness or approval. But liking his audience has never been a factor for dad, as long as they keep listening..) they value real friendship more. One time my bff said of a guy who ditched his friends for a girlfriend: “He’s gonna regret it! Girlfriends may come and go, but friends are forever”. I was like: “What are you? Twelve?”
      3) When it comes to real, sustained friendships they’re very-very picky, even snobbish, one could argue. One thing you may not know about them-they rarely talk about it- is that they are deeply distrustful of people. Who can blame them? These are frank, straightforward people, the rest of the world, uh…not so much. But I believe there is such a thing as bonding with an Aquarian. Granted, the aquarian version of bonding. It just takes time, openness and sincerity.
      Outtake from my parents’ relationship: While my mom has her moments of aquarian bluntness, as a Libra she can be a huge manipulative liar. When she gets like that, my dad gives her his most frustrated look and goes: “Could you for once stop twisting things and just say what’s in your mind? Is it so much to ask to just say what it is you really want?”
      4) In order to become bff with an Aquarian, you have to meet 3 essential requisites. a) You have to be cerebral, brainy and interesting b) You have to bear the promise that you’ll keep the mental spark going, keeping things interesting. If you’re like, “good, now that we’ve found each other, let’s rot on this couch forever”, you’re history. c) You don’t play the drama card on them. Never. Jay, “met with a smooth shiny surface”? You’re so kind! When someone displays emotion in my bff’s presence, he usually gets harassed!
      5) I don’t know why these folks are so uncomfortable with emotions. Maybe, like us Virgos, they’re suspicious with publicly displayed emotions, they smack of fakeness and all kinds of ulterior motives. Or maybe it’s just not their thing. Even I, with my petty SN in Aquarius, when I meet someone who strikes me as a very emotional person, even if I otherwise like him, I instinctively hold back, thinking to myself “hmmm, this isn’t gonna end well…”

      • You know VR, reading your comment, I think what makes a big difference on how people relate is whether their moon is in aquarius or not. If we take the moon to be the emotional centre then an aquarian moon is going to be detached and aloof, friendly but at the cerebral level and doing their own thing without much consideration of others needs – as you have so clearly described above.

        Given the loading in aquarius I’m so glad I have a virgo moon – tricky as it is in the 7th house and conjunct Pluto – so one to one intense relationships, not cerebral so much as under the water soul connection. I get bored with cerebral – just so much hot air, an interesting conversation yes, but for real friendship that moon/pluto demands something deeper.

        As for not liking the messiness of emotions – I’d say quite a few signs are adverse to that, Virgo being one of them – liking to have things all tidy and analysed etc.

      • Moon in Virgo…. I’m struggling for the right words here…
        If the world only knew… there’s one. If We only knew… there’s another…or-more precisely- if we dared to acknowledge.
        The way I see it, both Aquarians and Virgos had to kill a part of their souls at some point in exchange for the courage to carve their own path of truth and uniqueness. The part that’s weak and needy and longs for togetherness. The part that craves for security, dreams of a life in the suburbs and calls home when in trouble.
        But, whereas Aquarians seem like they were born composed-don’t they?-, that’s rarely the case with Virgos. For us, putting a leash on the beast within has been a lifelong struggle. I often say that we were born with one foot in western rationality and the other one in the jungle- not an easy balancing act, for sure!
        Tidy? In a sense. Now that you’ve finally made it to ‘princess of ice’, you’re not giving up your thrown that easily, at least not without a fight. *You* choose who you’ll grant the privilege to be able to “get” to you. To the rest of them, access denied. They insult you, you respond with a witty joke, they challenge you, you get into a ‘don’t even bother’ funk, they try to hurt you, you just shut down, hiding behind a cool grin your unwillingness to communicate. You tease your friends for their tantrums, you ask your current fling to lighten up. But tidy? Only on the surface.
        Still, at the core level, stuff keeps piling up. There’s a part of you, located somewhere in the gut area, that remains primitive, irrational, unsettled and unsettling, unrefined, undefined, untainted by reason, defying delineation. And that part is not open for discussion. So, non-verbal, yes, but that only adds to its intensity: it takes a poet to talk about feelings without cheapening them,or dissolving their strenght. Unnoticed by most, that’s for sure. And, certainly, unaddressed by you, most of the time. You’d swear it isn’t there, you’d rather ignore it, instead. Too messy!
        And just when you think you’ve got it all settled, you meet someone, who, just like you described, “does” sth to you, and, puff, there goes your revered composure and styled-up aloofness. You get hit by this avalanche of intense feelings mixed with old wounds, past tragedies and future betrayals. And, for the first time in your life, you’re rendered speechless. Your rationality has abandoned you, your verbosity fails you. What’s more, for the first time in your life, you’re confronted with the realisation that you, the devotee of truth and accuracy, have never actually uttered one word of honesty or sincerity when it comes to the things that matter to you the most. And, now that you so desperately want to, you lack the adequate vocabulary. So, what’s left?
        Physical. Intensely. Virgo is an earth sign, and the one that rules the Body. So, now that words seem to fail you, you regress into your other rightful territory. The profound awarness of the human body. The impact of a glance, a motion or a pause. The acute sense of rhythm. The ability to express the subtlest of feelings through a touch, the room for that ferocious side to surface, and the chance to heal that beast within. Love as the profound meeting of the souls that translates into sanctified communion of the bodies.
        And that’s pretty much why, unlike Aquarians, Virgos will never love their friends as they love their partners.

        As Forrest Gump put it- and I quote!-“That’s all I had to say about Moon in Virgo.”
        Regards 🙂

  34. Great comments….here’s a few of mine…

    ~Don’t judge me harshly (LOL), but I have Aqua Moon conjunct Mars on the MC (that combo was discussed early in the comments) it’s also sesquiquadrate Pluto and Uranus….yes, it can be quite an explosive combination at times, but more than that, it can feel quite isolating…the feeling that nobody’s around when you need a shoulder to cry on, probably because it gives off a detached vibe. Anybody concur with that?

    ~ VR, you said “When an Aqua Moon feels trapped in his/her life, you don’t wanna be around!!” Couldn’t agree more!

    ~ I have a whole bunch of Aquarian friends who I met at astrology classes. Until I read Mary’s comment (towards the top), it never occurred to me that the classes were held at a Friends House (which is a quaker meeting house). How appropriate! Thanks for providing that insight.

    • Could be, Mandi! I’m thinking, hence the occasional ‘poor me’ rants?
      Please, do enlighten us! As the old saying wisely puts it: “Don’t ask the doctor, ask the patient”!

  35. Enough, already, folks! After 103 comments, I think it’s time to move on. VR has several times asked for a chat room for these long threads that meander off topic, and I agree that’s a better venue for such discussions.

    I’m not the person to host one, as my time is better occupied with writing, so I’d like to nominate VR to organize it and moderate it. I will happily promote it on this blog.

    You can do that for free. Groupsites are a new class of websites that empower people to come together and make things happen. Groupsites are powered by and combine the most useful features of traditional websites, blogs, collaboration software and social networks.

    So, what is it they say, VR–put up or shut up? Donna


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