© by guest blogger, Melanie Harth, PhD of www.sayyestoyourself.com on March 2, 2011
Recently, I accepted a job offer that looked great: good money, not too many hours, pleasant work environment, good people … everything we’re supposed to want in a job, right?
There was only one fly sticking up in that ointment … my heart wasn’t singing. Worse, I started to get a migraine every time I thought about doing it. A little lesson in getting stuck while traveling down the path of personal and professional transformation was presenting itself.
- “You’ve had the power to restore yourself all along, my dear.”
- “Dang. This is EXACTLY what I’ve been asking for.” [My first mistake.]
- “I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind on!” [My second mistake.]
- ” _______________ (fill in the blank with infinite variations of denying the truth of the heart of the matter, avoiding the most important piece of information, and generally trying to do what I was supposed to do rather than what I actually wanted to do).” [My third mistake.]
The first mistake. I wasn’t clear enough when stating my intentions, asking for help in co-creating what I want. I just asked for a job. And that’s what I got. What I’m now asking for is much more specific: Guide me to income from sources that allow my heart to sing. Loudly. And while we’re at it, show me more of what I love [in case I may have missed something]. Please and thank you.
The second mistake. I really used to think I could do anything, although I did concede that there might be a price to pay for some of it. I believed this until I had my ass so thoroughly kicked by the universe, and my own mis-guided choices, that I thought I would die in the trying. Stubborn, yes. Gifted and talented, yes. Strong, indeed. Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound? No freakin’ way. What a train wreck I was living!
One of the treasures that still shines out of that nightmare experience is the knowledge of my limits. I don’t have a magic Wonder Woman outfit, or Superman’s cape to throw over my too-tired shoulders when something needs doing. I woke up. Cost me an awful lot. But I woke up.
The third mistake. Rationalizing, pretending, fantasizing, wishing very very hard for what isn’t actually real, listening to family/cultural/internal shadow voices that try so hard to keep me safe that I’m suffocating. Sigh. I find that the most difficult part of speaking one’s truth can be to hear it. To speak it to myself.
Once that Grand Canyon of hearing my own truth has been jumped, I’m free to run wild through the landscape of beauty and possibility. It’s liberating. It is redemption, each time I’m able to stand on behalf of my deep longings and desires. This is what makes life worth living.
These are some of the jewels I pick up on the soft, moist ground of spring’s promise.
So, what’s the end of the story? I called the next day, let that job go. And, I swear, had another opportunity walk right in the now-open door.
How about you, Readers? Has getting the courage to say no ever opened up even better doors for you? And have you ever regretted saying yes when you really wanted to say no? Tell us about it in the comment section.
Dr. Melanie Harth is a consultant, strategist and motivational speaker specializing in creative addiction recovery. She’s an empowerment expert, a writer and an artist, and trained as a spiritual psychologist. She’s also an avid student of astrology. You can reach her at email@example.com: 505-982-3904, or visit her blog at www.sayyestoyourself.com..