Posted by: Donna Cunningham | April 5, 2010

Funny Quotes and Cartoons about Uranus, Venus, & Mercury

©4-5-2010 by Donna Cunningham, MSW

I enjoy the daily selections on and include them on my Google startup page.  It often seems that the more brilliant quotations capture the essence of some planet or sign, so I’ve taken to saving them. (For more information about the authors and sources of the quotes, click on their names.)   I created the cartoons here by tweaking some of the stranger drawings at and adding captions.  

 Quotes that get to the essence of Uranus: 

 Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.   – Howard Aiken

 The reason lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.   – Willie Tyler

 The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.   – Robert Jackson

Quotes that get to the essence of Mercury:

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.  – Margaret Millar

 Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.   – Evan Esar

 I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.   – Terry Pratchett

 Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.     – Ben Hecht

 From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx

Quotes that get to the essence of Venus:  

 Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves. – Henri-Frédéric Amiel

 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.    – Miss Piggy

 Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. – Sam Brown

 It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.  Oscar Wilde

 Love can be sordid only if you work at it.   – Brooke McEldowney

 I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner 

 Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.  Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”

 Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece. Matt Groening

Readers:   join us in giving astrology lovers something to laugh about this month.  Leave jokes in the comment section or send me links to astrological humor on the internet at moonmave@spiritone.comYou’re welcome to borrow the Celebrate National Humor animation.  I made it for free here: Logo Design and Button Generator Tool –  

 More Quote Pages on Skywriter:

 If you want to stick around for the astrological humor this month, sign up for a subscription, and get a FREE EBOOKLET for Skywriter Subscribers Only: Mothers, Daughters, and the Moon, a 50-page excerpt from The Moon in your Life. Read more about it here: New: Free Booklet For Skywriter Subscribers! 

 If you’re already a subscriber and want a copy, forward the most recent email post to me at To sign up for a subscription, go to the top right hand corner of the blog and click on “Subscribe.”  Then send me an email with your subscription confirmation or an email post with a request for the booklet in the subject line.


  1. There are brilliantly funny! Thank you!

  2. Hehe – they’re funny Donna – I like the lightning one!

  3. Miss Piggy is oh, so very wise! Thanks for the giggles.

    • Thanks, folks! I enjoyed putting them together, too, and pretending to be a cartoonist. Donna

  4. Along this line:
    How many “” does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Aires – Just one and I’ll change fast and furiously.
    Taurus _ There is no need to change anything. Keep the bulb. It costs too much to change.
    Gemini – I like to change and change and change and change….
    Cancer – There, there dear, let mommie change that mean old light bulb for you.
    Leo – Moi? Do manual labor? Surely you jest. Make it a spotlight….on me.
    Virgo – I am the only one who can do this correctly. And it must be up the most current green energy standards.
    Libra – On the one hand, the current one is fine.But…a new one would be nice, too.
    And let it have a nice glow that flatters the complexion.
    Scorpio – NONE! I like the dark!
    Sagittarius – Let me tell you all about the history of all the lightbulbs worldwide…
    Capricorn – Refer to management policies on light bulbs.
    Aquarius – This bulb is the light that shines on all humanity and it must be kept illuminated. An LED would be nice.
    Pisces – Me is afraid of the dark lest me be swallowed up in the great ocean of universal concsiousness. Let Aires do it.

  5. I thought this was cute- my mom has mercury in aries and mars in pisces, she describes this combo as her mouth writing checks her ass can’t cover

    • Perfect! Boy, has she got a handle on this pair! Are Mercury and Mars semisextile or another or semisquare? An actual aspect between them would hieghten the tension. Donna

      • haha-they are 47° apart (weak semi-square?), also I wanted to thank you for the moon book excerpts- I shared these with mom-let’s see what she has to say

      • LOL! I’ll bet she has plenty to say. A Mercury-Mars aspect is never at a loss for words. Two degrees isn’t that wide for a semisquare. I’ve had 3 degree semisquares that all too often run my life! See this article:


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: