Funny Quotes and Cartoons about Uranus, Venus, & Mercury

©4-5-2010 by Donna Cunningham, MSW

I enjoy the daily selections on http://www.quotationspage.com/ and include them on my Google startup page.  It often seems that the more brilliant quotations capture the essence of some planet or sign, so I’ve taken to saving them. (For more information about the authors and sources of the quotes, click on their names.)   I created the cartoons here by tweaking some of the stranger drawings at Clipart.com and adding captions.  

 Quotes that get to the essence of Uranus: 

 Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.   – Howard Aiken

 The reason lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.   – Willie Tyler

 The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.   – Robert Jackson

Quotes that get to the essence of Mercury:

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.  – Margaret Millar

 Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.   – Evan Esar

 I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.   – Terry Pratchett

 Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.     – Ben Hecht

 From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx

Quotes that get to the essence of Venus:  

 Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves. – Henri-Frédéric Amiel

 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.    – Miss Piggy

 Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. – Sam Brown

 It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.  Oscar Wilde

 Love can be sordid only if you work at it.   – Brooke McEldowney

 I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner 

 Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.  Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”

 Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece. Matt Groening

Readers:   join us in giving astrology lovers something to laugh about this month.  Leave jokes in the comment section or send me links to astrological humor on the internet at moonmave@spiritone.com.  You’re welcome to borrow the Celebrate National Humor animation.  I made it for free here: Logo Design and Button Generator Tool – FlamingText.com.  

 More Quote Pages on Skywriter:

• Quotes about Saturn’s Issues—Wise Counsel from our Elders
• Uranian Ideas—Exceptional Thoughts about an Exceptional Planet
• Neptunian Musings—Mysterious but Strangely Apt Quotations
• Jumpin’ Jehosephat—Jupiterian Wisdom and Wisecracks
• Mars—What Great Minds say about Its Functions 

 If you want to stick around for the astrological humor this month, sign up for a subscription, and get a FREE EBOOKLET for Skywriter Subscribers Only: Mothers, Daughters, and the Moon, a 50-page excerpt from The Moon in your Life. Read more about it here: New: Free Booklet For Skywriter Subscribers! 

 If you’re already a subscriber and want a copy, forward the most recent email post to me at moonmave@spiritone.com. To sign up for a subscription, go to the top right hand corner of the blog and click on “Subscribe.”  Then send me an email with your subscription confirmation or an email post with a request for the booklet in the subject line.