Skywriter readers loved Joyce Mason’s recent guest blog, Boundaries 101 ~ A Course for Neptunians , so much that the comment section is filled with deep and heartfelt sharing about how to deal with people who trample on our boundaries. That section has nearly 60 comments after just a few days and keeps growing.
This topic is one that we’ve looked at before, and so below is a list of articles available on this site about boundaries and related issues. I hope you find the information helpful. Donna
More Articles Related to Boundaries on Skywriter:
- What your Astrology Chart Says about your Boundary Issues
- 6 Common Misconceptions about Boundaries in a Relationship
- The 3 Major Ways of Setting Boundaries—Which Type are You?
- Boundaries 101 ~ A Course for Neptunians
- Readers’ Insights into Neptune and Boundaries
- Feeling Drained by a Relationship? Cut those Psychic Cords!
- Libra Alert: How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
- Neptune in the 11th House–Setting Boundaries in Friendship
- Libra Alert: Personal Power & What It Looks Like in a Friendship
- Saturn in Libra: How to Set Healthy Boundaries
- How to Recognize and Deal with an Abusive Person
- Pluto and Bullying: How to Recognize and Deal with It
- Battling the Bully – Standing Up For Yourself With Confidence and Assertiveness
FREE DOWNLOAD: One of the chapters of my ebook, Counseling Principles for Astrologersgoes into codependency and its implications for practicing astrologers in depth. Download it here: ch7 – codependency.
Update: Diane Lang of Libra Seeking Balance has a great post on this topic: Observations: Neptune, Boundaries and the Drama Triangle . In it, she discusses the triangular cycle of victim, rescuer and persecutor that fuels so many codependent relationships and creates bad boundaries. (See an excellent explanation of these dynamics on Wikipedia at Drama Triangle.)
A question for readers: What techniques have you used to set firm boundaries–especially those of you who can do it successfully without a sledge hammer? Tell us how you do it in the comment section for this post.
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Oh boy, this was just what I needed to see right now. The new moon is setting up shop opposite all my Libra and… yeah. Feeling a little stomped on lately, or just feeling like I’m letting people walk on me more than usual lately.
Thank you Donna, impeccable timing as usual!
By: Shannon Bowman on April 13, 2010
at 10:02 am
Thanks, Shannon. We are all of us in the flow–what I call the Cosmic soup–and so it’s no accident this topic is up front just now. Donna
By: Donna Cunningham on April 13, 2010
at 10:30 am
I read all those responses to your first of these two articles. I was a very sensitive child, ended up with not one but two teasing nicknames because I was so different AND sensitive.
I did grow up, I do have a great BS detector, I have a neptune score of 15, and Neptune is 6 degrees away from my exalted Saturn. maybe that’s why?
I can generally avoid situations, but last year at a mini mart a man who wanted gasoline was getting really nasty with a young minority clerk who was unable to help him the way he wanted at the time. I could have remained invisible, but I finally said something like “listen to what the clerk said” and the man ended up spewing at me the most horrible combinations of anglo saxon curses. I was stunned. It took me a day to get over it, but I confess, I would do it again.
By: mimi on April 13, 2010
at 12:35 pm
Brave of you, Mimi. I’m sure the clerk needed that support. I guess, to avoid soaking up the man’s rage, I would have put up a shield between myself and him, and also when I left the store, would have done something to clear out the man’s energy. For instance, create a bubble of light around myself and then spin the enerrgy vigorously down an imaginary drain. That way it wouldn’t linger with me. Donna
By: Donna Cunningham on April 13, 2010
at 4:23 pm
Donna – I like the light rings around the wrists and ankles tip. Thanks! Will try it.
Why wrists and ankles though?
By: hitchhiker72 on April 13, 2010
at 2:51 pm
Well, the wrists because energy flows out the hands (at least it does mine, having had a variety of initiations into energy healing). The feet, I’m not sure why, don’t remember. Donna
By: Donna Cunningham on April 13, 2010
at 4:17 pm
Oh you asked for suggestions. I remember 2 useful articles by Into the Mystic Kachina – 1. the boat visualisation technique; 2. her ‘Who’s Garbage is in Your Bag, and Why are You Still Carrying It?’
I found them both extremely useful. And I now carry around a Black Tourmaline crystal with me too. It helps with the negativity of office politics I find.
By: hitchhiker72 on April 13, 2010
at 2:59 pm
I guess with Saturn in Virgo in the first house, I don’t really have a problem with people bullying me…my boundary issues seem to be with people that “need” to much. If a person is rude or too agressive, I can handle that; with people that need too much, I freeze because I’m so afraid I will hurt them. Any suggestions?
I have Neptune in Libra in 2nd and Pisces in 7th.
By: Donna on April 14, 2010
at 2:00 pm
To Donna from Donna C.: I think that Pisces/Neptune combination is easily pulled into rescuing and codependency situations. There are times when people really legitimately do need rescuing–been there myself at one point when I needed both hips replaced–but there are also people who are career victims and forever seeking rescuers. The capacity to discern which is which has been a steep learning curve over at least 50 of my 67 years, but I’m there now.
Those who legitimately and urgently need a helping hand, I help to the extent I am able, but I no longer believe that I’m the only one who can do it. Sometimes, all I can really provide is information and suggestions about resources. Donna
PS If you haven’t already downloaded my chapter on codependency which is linked in the article, do so and see if it helps.
By: Donna Cunningham on April 14, 2010
at 3:55 pm
I have Pluto (in the 12th) and Neptune quite prominent in my chart (a score of 38 for each) and have always been prone to teasing/bullying. Just today I had an experience that I thought I had left behind since high school and it really upset me. My gut instinct in these situations is to shut down because I feel hurt and attacked for no apparent reason. It already cost me tremendous effort to verbally indicate that I didn’t find the comment in question very flattering.
Having read this article and comments, I pulled myself together and typed up a polite and concise note addressed to the person in question, since it is someone I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. We’ll see what happens, but I’m glad I stood up for myself and didn’t dupe myself into thinking it was only me being hypersensitive.
By: Simon on April 23, 2010
at 12:54 am